Brown Skin Lady.
Sunday, June 29, 2003
I'm not really sure what I make of:
The future brother-in-laws's appearance with his friends and family at my sister's bridal shower. I always thought bridal shower's were female only. But then again, this is the same couple that had their respective bachelor and bachelorette parties the same weekend in vegas and then met up for brunch on sunday.
The Lakers drafting two big white dudes. We could put in a lineup of Madsen at the 3, Brian Cook at the 4, and Luke Walton at the 2. Get Penberthy back to play the 1, and sign Greg Foster to play the 5. White is right.
An elevenyear old running interference for her ten year old friend by telling me that her friend likes my muscles.
Girls trying to log on to boys.com in my computer class.
A reunion with my 8th grade class to find out that Vikas is in Med School. Ollie is in Law School. Dave is in Australia. Bret is working for is Masters in English. Me working at Starbucks.
African gray parrots that have a better grasp of the Vietnamese language than I do.
The future brother-in-law's younger brother's outfit of a button up blue collar shirt and khakis. Oh wait he lives in San Francisco.
Animals dressed as humans.
My sister's rat, I mean yorkshire terrier.
Female appetites.
The 85% female customer base at Starbucks with 95% of orders being Venti extra-caramel caramel frappaccinos and the other 5% being non-fat White Mochas with extra whip cream. Then having the nerve to ask me if we still carry low-fat muffins.
My 15 hour work days between both jobs.
Low-carb diets.
Door-to-Door financial planners.
Ludacris and Mystikal.
Empty Calories.
Me giving a 15-year old a good old-fashionend ass-whooping at a Judo tournament.
A 17-year old kicking my ass in at the same Judo tournament.
Glad I got that off my chest. Hope yall having a nice Sunday.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:32 AM
Monday, June 23, 2003
Word Problem:
A Los Angeles Couple comprised of a wealthy investment banker and his glamorous wife are planning a wedding. The wedding dinner will cost approximately $225 per guest including an open bar, h'ordeurves, and a main entree. There are 5 different plates of h'ordeurves with 75 pieces per plate. Each individual piece cost $4.75. Please answer the following questions using the above information.
1) What is the Total Cost of the H'ordeurves?
2) Is the Wealthy Investment Banker my future brother in-law?
3) Are you serious?
4) Would anybody object to just passing 5 dollar bills around on the platter in replacement of the h'ordeurves?
Answers:
1) Total # of h'ordeurves = 75 @ 5 = 375 pieces
Total cost of h'ordeurves = 375 pieces @ $4.75 = $1781.25
2) O god.
3) I ain't joking.
4) Or better yet, could you just throw (let me do some calculating here....$1781.25/ 5) 356 five-dollar bills into one big pit and let us mosh for it? BAWITABA, DA BANG, DA BANG, DIDDY DIDDY, SAID UP JUMPS DA BOOGIE! That would be siiiiiiiick!
I guess this Los Angeles couple needs extra cheese on their whoppers.
andycat stayed in the red at 8:34 PM
Friday, June 20, 2003
What to say about spots like Root Down? Fuego. Type ill. DJ's rockin the funky joints, whole crowd puts SOUL into there grooves, I just didn't sense a pretentious vibe. You see, I like my discotecas the way I like my friends. Full of substance and character. Which is why I choose to just stay cordial and not buddy-buddy with some of the starbucks homies. Some reactions after hittin up knitting factory a few weeks ago --
"This is a place you try out."
"It was alright."
"I had to listen to your hip-hop."
Alrite, OK. Alrite, OK, OK. Don't take it personal Andy. I mean, I hit up spots where I can have a few drink, listen to some raw beats, relax my mind, let my conscience be free, get down to the sounds of EPMD, and really just stay on the positive tip. Yes I have frequented Freak Shows, AKA with them hooker-tight wears, hon, you're playin yaself, and it can be a good time. But on the real, I'd rather hear "I transform the crowd like fecofeliacs when I move my vowels" over "You know, bitches ain't shit to me."
Oh well, Ignorance (909 White Trash) is Bliss. *insert goofy white voice here* -- "SLIPKNOT ROCKS!"
andycat stayed in the red at 2:42 PM
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
TO THE BEAT YALL. Some random thoughts------------------------------>
I gave my psychiatrist the address to this website...so if your reading this Dr. Z, thanks for tuning in and I hope you've been entertained. Oh, and I think your a good doctor. I look forward to our visits.
The following questions pertain to statements 1-3. Please answer True or False to each statment. Correct answers are worth 2 points. Wrong answers are worth -1 point. Answers left blank are worth 0.
1) "...because every guy you have met since you were 16 has been trying to fuck you. Anytime a man is being nice to you, he's just offering you dick." -- Chris Rock.
2) Hot women view other hot women as threats.
3) Women are a complicated species.
My brain has a tendency to move from subject to subject but i think it can only absorb so much before the hard drive is full and the system just crashes.
Hottest R&B chick. Aaliyah, Monica, or Brandy?? Aaliyah, has since passed. (RIP, girl.) Brandy can look east to west at the same time. And Monica is just to thuggish for me. Ashanti? Nah, she looks like Alvin the Chipmunk. Deborah Cox is fly. Chante Moore, even flier. The winner goes to Sade. Oh wow. She hot ta def.
I heard this theory that anorexic women tend to grow an exorbitant about of body hair as they need the added fur for insulation.
I work at the abercrombie of starbucks. My manager only hires good-looking people.
How do you hit on a hot girl when she's with a group of her friends?
Saved by the bell is so bad. Why is it that I can't changed the channel though?
Favorite Foreign NBA Players --
Mexico: Vinny Del Negro
Croatia: Drazen Petrovic
Germany: Detlef Schrempf
Netherlands: Rik Smits
China: Yao
Congo: Dikembe Mutombo
France: Tariq Abdul-Wahad
Russia: Nikoloz Tshitiszitivitiittzzzzitttizitittz
Canada: Mike Penberthy
United States: JR Reid
Favorite White Guys --
PG: Scott Skiles
SG: Jeff Hornacek
SF: Chris Mullin
PF: Troy Murphy
C: Jon Koncak
Current Song White Girls Throw Both Hands Up In The Air For When The DJ Spins This Record At The Club (Used to be In Da Club):
That Panjabi MC Feat. Jay-Z Song with the Knight Rider Goes to India Loop
On the real, my boys are cool. The essence of 'cool' is a manifestation of the way you accept things. We don't trip. We got the steez on lock. We don't got next. We got right now.
If you don't know, now you know.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:55 AM
Friday, June 13, 2003
SPORTS BLOG, ONE TIME FOR YOUR MIND.
Andre Agassi is the mutha-fuggin SHIT. Got the killer return serve, paired with the precision-powered baseline strokes. Match that with the fashionably loud "early 90's- neon-green-bandanna sportin-left ear-pierced- nappy blond hair-Cannon Rebel EOS endorsed- I'm too good for that Miss America/ Suddenly Susan/ Blue Lagoon broad, let me get a real women in Steffi" attitude and really, let me ask --WHO DONT LOVE THE GUY?
He just got the #1 ranking today, at the age of 33. Think about it...most tennis players reach their prime at 25. The guy's 33! This fool puts in work, and watches his status escalate. (Gangstarr Reference for those not in the know). Shit, he probably works harder than Filipino's do in sweatshops to be #1 at this stage in his career. I saw Andre gettin his lift on at the Westwood LA Fitness last August. And me being the 'cool, I'm from LA, I see athletes and celebrities all the time' dude that I am, glance over at my man, and just give him that quick, stacatto-like head nod movement just to acknowledge him but not actually speak to him. (Y'all know what I'm talking about. That look where two homies "who used to be cool with each other back in the day, but now they roll wit a different crew" see each other but don't have anything to say so they just acknowledge each other just to be cordial. And by the way, you better not have a dirty look on your face when you acknowledge cuz in these times, one dude might take it the wrong way, like 50 and JA...and somebody gonna end up gettin capped like and NBA salary/ killin naturally/ like Mickey and Mallory.)
He gives me the same head nod back.
And that my friends is called the 'essence of cool'.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:26 PM
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
Damn Writer's Block. Think, man.
The #1 rule of writing is knowing your audience. As this blog started out 3 months ago as a relative nonentity, it has grown to a sizeable audience of 8. If you'll notice, the first few blogs were fairly personal with the hopes that typing my thoughts on e-paper would manifest a therapeutic prophylactic combatting depression. But as the publicizing of andycat.blogpsot.com has increased, I have this tendency to write with the intentions of entertaining. So pardon me as I outline my thoughts into what exactly I want to convey through these blogs.
I. Analytical Conception of Identity Through:
A. 2nd Generation Vietnamese Background
B. Friendly and Familial Interactions
C. Work and Career-Oriented Processes
II. Commentary on things that interest me:
A. Alternative Hip-Hop
B. Sports involving inanimate objects
C. Health & Fitness
D. Quarter-Life Female Lifestyle
E. Quarter-Life Male Lifestyles
F. Female & Male interactions.
G. Child Development
H. Accpetance and Rejection of "Deviance"
III. Emancipation of audience's mind through:
A. Pop Culture References
B. Poetic Devices including methaphor, simile, and hyperbole.
C. Vocab for the adroit-minded heads
D. Combined with elementariness for the novice
I think that's all...for now. At the urging of the homie, UCSBCUB -- a sports blog in the near future.
"After all my logic and my theory, I add a 'muthfucka' so all yall ignorant niggaz hear me." L-Boogie
andycat stayed in the red at 10:13 AM
Monday, June 09, 2003
Quotacious Quotes from this past weekend:
"Good to be back" -- UCLA alum, Chad Joseph, referring to his visit to Santa Barbara
"Jaeger's good" -- Devonte Swing, on the shot call
"Dhaven's giving Chad road head and Andy's got his fingers up my butt" -- Dale, referring to certain dynamics of the car ride home in a phone conversation with UCSBCUB
"Good Situation" -- UCSBCUB's response
"What exit do you take to get to Dodger Stadium?" Ronnoc1, asking me for directions to the game
"Take the exit that says 'DODGER STADIUM' " -- ANDYCAT's response
"You look like a backstreet boy" -- UCSBCUB, on my extra medum attire
"AWWWWWWWWW, SHIT" -- Newmie, when running into the gang outside 634
"He wanted to build a moat around the apartment complex so that his ex-girl couldn't ever come in" Chad Joseph, explaining the significance of Moat's name
"Remind Chad that it's his parents anniversary" -- Moat
"Tell them you know a short Jew with a big schlong. That line always works." -- Dale, after I told him that I worked with pretty girls
"Wonder if there are ninja's in those parts" -- Random thought in Andycat's head when looking at the hills of Montecito
"I just threw up in my mouth" -- Chad Joseph, referring to something funky
"Good to know Andy" -- Everybody, on breakfast at Starbucks
Good times. Good times.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:52 AM
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Saw the Italian Job the other night. I was entertained. Speaking of ethnic 'jobs'...
Props to my main men:
Dale -- Coming thru in Vancouver with the FOBulus Kore-a-dian 'job'
UCSBCUB -- Gettin down in Isla Vista with the Caucasian 'job'
SEE Joseph -- Working the charm with the silky Chocolate 'job'
Don't know what type of 'job' I'm talking about? Use your imagination.
andycat stayed in the red at 7:05 PM
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
There's this girl I work with at the school...think she's diggin the andy-love. I always feel like I'm gettin got at when conversing with her. You look nice today. New haircut? Looks smooth. Too bad she busted.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:19 PM
Sunday, June 01, 2003
I'm proud of myself. The credit card debt is declining and I'm not giving in to the instinct purchases. Thinking twice about spending money on items that either 1) don't offer me the 3 basic necessities for survival: Food, Clothing, Shelter, and 2) don't offer any edifying return on investment. I attribute the self-control to the 'consumption is proportional to income' theory. So besides food, clothing, and shelther, what offers me satisfaction which require a dip into the checking account?
Spending quality time with the beatnik homies of mine with whatever those activities entail.
Autobiographical literature.
A functional CD/ MP3 player.
In the year since graduation, those are the 2 of 3 things I have spent the majority of my income on besides food, clothing, and shelther. When I buy this CD/MP3 player (in the next month), my list will be completed. Let this be a warning to all those who have ever had the opportunity to lay their sweet cheeks down on the plush bucket seats of the BLAZIN1: !Esuchela! Bring your CD's if you ain't feelin mine. AM/FM radio will soon be extinct within the ergonomic confines of the "SO LA" SUV of mine.
Beat drop: Brand Nubian -- Slow Down.
Bill Simmons on Ron Artest: Either he's a 10-time all star in the making or the first person to ever commit Flagrant Foul Level 4: Homicide. And there's no in between.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
andycat stayed in the red at 10:24 PM
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AIM: ANDYDOAN1
E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com
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