Brown Skin Lady.
Friday, January 30, 2004
People call me and leave a message. I don't call them back. Sometimes I do. But those that call because they need something, like a ride? Ummm, no. It's not that I have a problem playing taxi or what not, I'm all for picking people up when they're like ill again and stranded. But mostly, I just don't want to spend 45 mins of my time sitting 3 feet away from a boring personality when I could be rocking out to Mos Def, Jay, Prince, and Stevie/ Marvin Gaye, Led Zeppelin, and Biggie.
No soul = no ride. I'm gonna start being mean to people. Tell it like it is. Fuck you. And Fuck You. Fuck you and you.
Whoa. I don't know what's gotten into me. Oh, now I remember.
People who call that need things. (I'm not talking about the 8 of you who read this. I like you guys (and girl).)
andycat stayed in the red at 4:16 PM
Why is Vin Baker so
andycat stayed in the red at 7:51 AM
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Since homie feels the need to advertise in my comments section, I'll just post the picture. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I've never seen the show. Although I did watch Real World last night and was thoroughly entertained when Brad goes to Jail for drunk in public. And Jacquese goes on a hunger strike until Brad is released from jail. FREE BRAD! That ish was hilarious.
Anyway when I told a.per.wep that I've never seen Queer Eye, he says something along the lines of:
I would think you of all people would have seen that show!
What kind of backhanded comment is that?
I'm not Queer. Just naturally beautiful. Height doesn't run in the Doan family, but good looks do. We are good looking stalky Asian People. Some of my shirts are extra-medium. OK, all of my shirts are. But I'm only 5'6. If I wore XL, I'd look like a fobby muppet.
I just said, Fobby Muppet.
andycat stayed in the red at 7:40 PM
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Two dollar off Tuesdays at Rhino Records in the village. That is $2 dollars off any new or used CD $4.99 and up. So if I look hard enough, I sure could find a quality CD for $3.00 which is roughly equivalent to 3 oz. of a Patron Margarita. I'm diggin, and its a toss-up between two $4.99 CD's:
Rakim, The 18th Letter.
Incubus, S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
Who do you think I go with?
Think again.
Now think one last time.
Let me just tell you that the revolution has begun within my CD collection. No more hip-hop circa 1991-1995. So in an effort to diversify and become more eclectic, I bought some teen-moshing, funk-driven, punk-wielding, jazz-sampling, Incubus.
Why Incubus?
I first saw them in 1997 at the Claremont Colleges as a senior in high school and distinctly remember that it was odd to see a punk band with a black DJ scratching on some technics. DJ Lyfe also has the smallest room in the Incubus Crib if yall ever saw when they were on MTV cribs. Coincidence that the brother got shafted and stuck with the hole in the wall when they were divying up the rooms?
Well that's a whole other blog of its own.
For those not in the know, I once was an avid Water-Skiier, who competed heavily in tournaments on the UCSB Water-Ski Team back in '99. The tournament boat UCSB owned had one bumpin system complete with a BOSE system and a 15" sub. Ill. And when it was your turn to run the course, you got to choose the music playing. MXPX, Pennywise, and Faith Hill (Yes, Faith Hill), seemed to be in heavy rotation.
EPMD wasn't.
And though none of them white boys' taste in music were on par with my steez, I remember diggin the fusion that Incubus offered. The screaming metal choruses kind of throw me off, but the funk driven bass riffs combined with the jazz-fury melodies are straight ill. Redefine, Idiot Box, Glass, Anti-Gravity, and Deep Inside are songs worth checking out if you ever feel the need to get the testosterone pumping. I'm definitely jammin on to this before lifting some weights tomorrow.
Not too shabby for 3 bones.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:11 PM
Monday, January 26, 2004
Plenty of perks at the Claremont Colleges:
8 separates institutions coming together to form one. Kinda like Voltron.
7 story library
6 hours of homework assigned on the first day
4 acres of wireless internet access
3 textbooks to buy
2 olympic-sized swimming pools
1 Problem
No hot girls. I guess things haven't changed for me two years removed from undergrad. Get to school on the first day of class, insides percolatin, scavenging for the right classroom, and of course when I finally step foot into the class, I scour the room looking for hot chicks. Damn. None.
But I'm here to learn. And we're going around the room introducing ourselves with the usual:
Name
Place of Undergrad/ Degree
What you've been doing since.
What motivated you to join the Education Program at CGU?
There were a few undergrads from the Claremont Colleges finishing up their Bachelor's in May and heading straight into grad school because they've "always wanted to work with the youth." There were a few of the 30-somethings who finished school 10 years ago and "looking for a career change" and "want to make a difference for the youth". Then there are the really ambitious students already thinking about PHD who want to get into administration and start up afterschool youth programs.
Then there's me:
Hi I'm Andrew Doan. Graduated from UC Santa Barbara in 2002 with a Business Economics Degree. I work at this little Coffee Shop called Starbucks. I met a principal while working at Starbucks and she told me I should get into teaching. So I started to substitute teach and now here I am.
I got the loudest laugh from that introduction.
I wasn't trying to be funny.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:29 PM
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Oh man. My sister, Annie, reads this blog of mine. In an effort to become closer to her and give her a better idea of the zany ramblings bouncing rampantly off the walls of my cranium, I gave her the address to this site. And she reads it. And in the past few blogs she sees words like:
Detox.
Channeling Meth through my body.
Slang dope.
So what do you think happens next?
Ring...Ring...Ring...
Andy, I want to talk to you about something. And you can just say it's none of your business or what not...but I wanted to talk to you about your drug use.
?Que? Like narcotics?
Well you know, Meth, Marijuana...things of that nature.
I don't have a drug use. What makes you say that?
Well when you were out here, you were somewhat quiet. And everything that's been going on at home. Some people turn to drugs. And I know you're close to your friends. But I want you to turn your family if you need support.
...And then there's your blog.
Ooohhhhh. That makes sense. But no worries, while everything I write has some elements of truth, alot of it is exaggerrated, satirical, and sarcastic.
I thought that was very endearing of her to worry about me. Just means that she loves me. And everybody wants to feel worthy of love. I assured her that besides from the recreational useage and cold medicine, there is no drug abuse in this adonis-like figure of mine. Well lately, not Adonis. More like Brad Pitt.
...Cuz that wasn't ambiguously gay or nothing.
I love you, Annie.
andycat stayed in the red at 2:05 PM
Friday, January 23, 2004
Farting, picking your nose. Taking a dump, sneezing, peeing, orgasms...yeah. All forms of instant gratification. All satisfying sensations. But when my niece and I were walking around the mall last week and she grabbed my hand just for the sake of feeling safe and secure...well, that was sincere, most endearing, and classic. Like lemon-lime Gatorade in a glass bottle.
And to think I've become annoyed when girlfriends have wanted to hold my hand. You know how it goes, after a few months dating someone you just get annoyed. You wanna slap that hand away from you like it was housefly creeping up on your Carne Asada burrito. She just doesn't look as smokin as that night you met her stumbling around at the club in her 6 inch stilettos with the beer stain on her shirt, heavy mascara, caked on compact, evil eyebrows, nose pierced, tattoo on her lower back.
OK, that's not hot. I just described club hot. Strobelight honeys and such...ugghhh. But something ain't right.
...It's the strobelight.
Anyway, the urge to get tanked every weekend has dramatically decreased, especially in the past few months what with me applying to grad school and deciding to take my future to a whole other level. And the desire for purity and wholesome goodness is increasing.
Like a nice conversation with my friends. Water. Sweating profusely then imbibing Gatorade. And my 3 year old niece holding my hand.
Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe I just need to detox. Or a little of both.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:57 PM
Thursday, January 22, 2004
That's it. Simple. Less is more. Dynamite soul. Placed over my heart. In my own handwriting, so I can't be mad at the artist. All he did was trace over my own penmanship. I wanted a font that was timeless, and what can be more timeless than your own handwriting.
Big ups to Connor, my soul brother, who shared this moment with me.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:08 PM
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
This post is dedicated to Santiago, Chile '05
Quote of the day:
"Goals? Goals are just more things for me to not accomplish." -- a.per.wep
No more dejected writing. I am happy. No longer am I a victim of my thoughts. I talk about nonsense. It keeps me so fresh and so clean (clean).
...But do I lose my audience? All 8 of you who, dare I say, feel me?
I would venture to guess that 90% of entertaining writing is dejected in some twisted, demented sense. It keeps you guys entertained. It gives me a headache. I am no longer talking about things that preoccupy me:
Sex, murder, mayhem. Money. Cash. Money, cash, hoes.
Just kidding, yo. Murder doesn't preoccupy me. I tell you what does:
Sewing your asshole closed, while feeding you, and feeding you, and feeding you.
No more dejected writing!
Sorry. I just channeled Charlie Manson, Meth, and Jay-Z through my body.
Anyway. NY was a good time. Connor's pad is comfortable. I watched alot of Blues Clues and Dora the Explorer with my niece and nephew.
Olivia, who got you that trike?
Santa.
No, I did! And I spent mufuggin $90. Santa didn't give you shit. It was me, your Uncle Andy! And you know why I spent $90 on someone who I see twice a year? Because, I love you!
Ok, I didn't say that. But I did get a tattoo. And took a prom picture. Did a face plant into fresh powder in Central Park. Rode a ferry to Staten Island. And drank.
And I'm already starting to think about the next destination -- Chile, sometime during December or January. That's one year from now. Start thinking about it fellas. Because, i'm not going solo on this one. We're all going to visit a certain Sea Bass.
andycat stayed in the red at 7:46 AM
Sunday, January 18, 2004
I am inspired. Oh for sure. Tall buildings, delis, and what have you in this concrete jungle. Brick city mashin on a saturday night with goldschlager shots, $3 Ketel Tonics, and a cheesesteak. Yes, my checking account is decreasing at an increasing rate, but now I have some stories to tell at da club. In da club. Out da club. Over the club. Thru da club. To the club, we go.
Gotta be surface level revolutionary, these days. It's the in thing. As witnessed by this conversation I had with some dude hawking his CD to me on a street corner out in the village.
The record company don't think we killing enough people!
[Gets my attention]
If you like progressive hip-hop, you will like us!
I support indie hip-hop.
We sound like Mos Def, Kweli. That's me on the cover!
Ok, how much?
$5
[Breaks out $5 bill.]
Let me ask you something, do you train?
Train? Like workout, train?
Do you know martial arts?
*5 second pause of confusion*
Do you ball?
Ahh, I see how it is.
Good.
andycat stayed in the red at 8:05 AM
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Just dialed up to get online here in Strong Island and if that doesn't test my patience I'm not sure what else can. Maybe snail paced driving grandmas. And racial ignorance. 10-year old snot faces. Chingy.
Ok, there's alot a out there. But they do say that patience...virtue. Honesty....policy. Drastic times....measures.
Andy, what do you think of DSL?
I say welcome to 2000, sis.
Glad that this here blog of mine can be the platform for constant bickering between a.per.wep and chilean sea bass. I am honored that I can bring people together.
It's snowing out here in NY but the Pizza is just fuckn reediculous. Is there any truth do this urban legend that the mob in NY controls the pizza sauce out here which is why all slices taste similar?
It's thursday night. I'm in NY. a.per.wep is in NY. Willy Wonka is in NY. Mentally preparing myself for some serious nonsense. Tonights the night. Time for some akshun. Funk docta spot would be proud. Fellas, just call in sick to work tomorrow morning.
Oh wait honestly is the best policy, remember?
Yo, bossman. Had some old homies in town. Went out late last night. Drank one too many Ketel 7's. Wrestled in the snow. Met a fly butter pecan rican. Some fool try to slang some dope. I told him I was from Cali.
Not coming in today.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:15 AM
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Should probably blog about something before I head on out to NY. Is this a vacation? I did use my "vacation" hours that starbucks gave me.
Vacation = palm trees, umbrella drinks, golden tans, and a beach. On a vacation, I should be scoring points with the ladies. Scoring points, like MJ did to Portland. Trail. Blazers. NY is 4 degrees right now.
So I guess by my definition this isn't a vacation. So what is it? It's me visiting my sister. I want to see my niece and nephew ride their tricycles I got them for christmas. With the hook up from
DW. It's me checking out how a.per.wep.'s nueva york lifestyle compares to that of the left coast. Me gearing up for grad school. Traveling develops soul and character. And helps me relax.
At least that's the idea.
And you'll all be in my thoughts while I'm away. All 8 of you who JC said this site was popular among:
The substance we know as the kid. Alrite, okay. Alrite, okay, okay. Asian people do smell. You win.
The essence of cool aka Maximus. Learn playmaker function in Madden. And send your reciever on a deep rout when the linebacker's shift or safety's creep up.
Chilean Sea Bass's kind heart and South American savoir-faire.
My main man, Baruti's musical knowledge. Check out the frenzy on track 10 and fall to the ground. You show me your true colors, like ROY G BIV. Ill. Hope you got to make out with that European girl on the stroke of midnight.
And person #8? I do have the stragglers. My fellow blogger nerds. Kool Kizzle. Cici. Swirlygirl.
Hopefully I be inspired while I'm out there in an effort to make my life a little more exciting as a blogger, a teacher, a barista, an interior monologuist, an uncle, a friend, a son, a Vietnamese-American man.
Yeah, that's all the labels I can think of. I'm sure there's more.
Exhibit level degree on the blog, passionately.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:16 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Not trying to say that my taste in shoes compares to that of Imelda Marcos or that I judge a person by the cover of their feet, but damn, those are some fugly shoes.
The date was fun. We saw a co-worker's band play at the knitting factory followed by some groovin and drinking afterwards. And her naturally loud personality only intensifies with 7 and 7.
She wore those shoes.
The booty-shaking follows. She gotta rad bod. Nonsense ensues. There were no awkward moments.
She really owns a pair of skechers?
We did go out with another couple people so it didn't seem too formal, which was a good thing. Having other people to converse with in a social setting definitely takes away from that interview-type-responsiveness that comes with first dates. And more importantly, my attention wasn't focused on things like:
Seriously, shoes make the outfit. I like what you're wearing, but...those...shoes...
Dante Hall just ran a punt return back for a TD and he's sucking down oxygen from a tank on the bench. Peyton Manning calls audibles on every down. Joe Montana and Marcus Allen once played for the Chiefs. Erick Dickerson played on the Raiders during his final season. I remember these things.
I need to forget about those shoes.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:18 PM
How come when I drop my phone, its okay. But when somebody else drops my phone, it makes me a little angry.
Man, I don't know. I don't know.
andycat stayed in the red at 1:34 AM
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Time to muster up that courage and ask cute girl with the jammin face and slammin body from work to go on a dizzate with yours truly. And maybe in a few months I'll be like this Willy Wonka looking fellow, running amok in a frazzled state telling my boys about the mind-blogging i mean boggling mating thats taking place out here in the Land of Up. Hopefully she's not too busy tomorrow.
Actually, I hope she doesn't have a boyfriend. Ehh, whatever. What's your man gotta do with me? I ain't trying to hear that, see. Besides, most women have trouble resisting the ACAT charm especially when I got that lazy-eyed, half-smirk, baritone-voice talkin bout,
Hey girl, you busy tonight?
And her insides get all bugged-out cuz she's been waiting for the past few weeks for me to ask her to hook up...hang out..juschill, and now the moment's about to arrive. And though I'm talking to her on the phone, I can here the excitement in the tone of her voice, and picture that infectious smile grinning ear-to-ear when she says:
Okay. That sounds fun. I'll see you around 8.
And then she gets off the phone, and runs to her closet because she has to decide what she wants to wear tonight. She doesn't want to look to slutty. I mean after all, it is the first date. But then again, she should wear something that shows off that petitely stacked figure of hers because desirability is of the essence.
I could break it down like whatever ya ahh...
andycat stayed in the red at 1:26 AM
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Get this fool Corey! Don't believe the hype. The Nets aren't that good. K-Mart will be public enemy #1 this year just like Artest was last year and 'Sheed was the year before. Utah would be in 1st right now if they played in the East and they be in first by about 10 games. Its just that the NBA has to Market their best team in the East and even if that means hyping up Richard Jefferson and Kerry Kittles to be better players then they really are. Kirilenko and Arroyo would be all over Sportscenter if they were in the Leastern Conference.
andycat stayed in the red at 1:35 AM
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
That picture of Sheila E. was scaring me so I changed it to Charlie Ward, part of the Knicks-Suns deal that just went through. Are the Knicks any better? Yeah. But that team still can't play D. Kurt Thomas is their best defender. Followed by 80 year old Mutombo Gumbo. And then Clarence Weatherspoon. Oh wait, Isiah Thomas just traded 'Spoon. Nevermind. Charlie Ward once won the Heisman. I remember how they were comparing him to Joe Montana like 10 some odd years ago when he was at FSU.
Quarterback Charlie Ward: Joe Montana-esque
Point Guard Charlie Ward: Mookie Blaylock-esque
Nevermind. That's an insult to Mookie. Just like how they compare Vince Carter to Dominique Wilkins. That's an insult to 'Nique. I mean, just watch the Beyond the Glory: Dominique Wilkins and you'll understand what I'm sayin.
Knowhatimsayin?
So whatcha sayin?
I'm not playin.
Catch a sucker in my way, and I'm slayin.
No delayin.
Battle in the trenches where the funky be playin.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:23 AM
Monday, January 05, 2004
I'm just gonna type the first thing that comes to my head.
Suns traded Stephon Marbury, their best player to the Knicks. Has any team ever improved after trading their best player. Anybody remember the Charles Barkley for Andrew Lang - Tim Perry - Jeff Hornacek trade? I do. But then of course I also have super useless information memory powers.
Met a lady name Marge. Now when I think of the name Marge, I think of an old lady. And this particular woman was at least 65. I wonder if Marge/ Margaret was a popular name back in the 30's and 40's thus conjuring up this image of an old lady when I hear that name. I know Jennifer was a popular name back in the 70's so does that mean in 2030/ 2040 kids will picture an old lady next to the name Jennifer?
I don't ever want to be one-half of a couple who sits next to each other as opposed to opposite each other in a booth at a restaurant.
I've been listening to some corny 80's dance music lately and I'll admit it. I like it. Sheila E., Ready for the World, and Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam are some of my favorite groups. Watching Sheila E. jam on the percussions is fuego. I do have two older sisters who are products of the 80's so blame them if you have a problem in my taste in music.
What if your farts smelled like Pine Sol? How awesome would that be? If bodily fluids smelled delicious...I believe humans would be a more peaceful species.
So after attending Public Schools for the past 8 years or so, I'm returning back to a Private Institution. And it's interesting how the two contrast specifically when it comes to administration. There's no deadlines, no registration dates, no lecture halls. Ratio of teacher to students is 12:1. Public institutions win when it comes to the hot girl factor.
Heres an analogy for you -- A man's favorite drink at starbucks: extra caramel caramel frappacino, A man's favorite alcoholic beverage: pina coloda wine cooler.
So the moral of the analogy is if you can drink a Guiness, you can drink your coffee. Black.
The metrosexual craze is out of hand.
Jenn C. was right when she told me that this site is really popular among 8 people.
Matt C. was wrong when he told me that Asian people smell [bad]. Asian people don't smell. Brown folks, can I get a witness?
Oh crap, I have work in 1/2 hour.
Let the funky mellow groove, get you in the mood.
Fella's take your lady's hand.
Ladies go and choose your man.
Don't this disturb this groove.
andycat stayed in the red at 3:32 PM
Friday, January 02, 2004
Normally I do some quotacious quotes after a weekend trip. I don't remember much from this past New Years in the Bay Area. I attribute this lack of memory to:
1) Pain caused from the run with Costello as the first activity I did straight off the plane.
2) Patron Margaritas
3) Vicodin
4) Alot of Food including: Korean BBQ, Pizza, Pancakes, Fondue, Crepes, Burritos, Coffee, and Alka-Seltzer to wash it all down.
I was very much in the moment over the course of the past few days, taking in all the beautiful scenery that San Francisco has to offer. You see, while Jenn and Matt were busy working during the day, I spent the majority of the two days I was there walking around in a blissful state, clearing my mind, and fathoming how my personality would be if I lived in such a city.
The city definitely has soul unlike the suburbs. There's characters on every corner, coffee shops on every block, and good eating just about everywhere you look. Fire engine sirens were constantly blaring. I walked everywhere I went. Never a dull moment.
So why am I so shook?
The city life extremely contrasts that of suburbia. Mass transit vs. SUV's. Mom & Pop hole in the walls vs. Drive-thrus. Soul-less personas vs. Vivacious Characters. And while both have their pro's and cons, I'm somewhere stuck in the middle bored of Upland yet settled in my SUV-driving, Starbucks-drinking, Bedroom community-living, quiet lifestyle. I guess choosing to live in such a city has to do with preference. Are you a homebody that wants to live predictably or do you crave the night-life? Do you value things such as quiet and tranquility or would you rather have eye-candy and eargasms in the form of city lights and foghorns?
Hmmm...something for me to think about. Or just accept the fact that I'm at this point in adulthood where I'm stuck in the middle and I don't fit in. So the answer would be to derive satisfaction from this arbitrariness by purchasing plane tickets on a somewhat consistent basis to visit my friends and explore the drama, er...city.
And in a few years make a decision to which lifestyle I prefer and act accordingly.
On deck: NY, 1/14/04 -- 1/21/04.
andycat stayed in the red at 5:27 PM
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AIM: ANDYDOAN1
E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com
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