Brown Skin Lady.



Friday, December 28, 2007

Speaking of thoughts...how about Karl Malone's range?

I am not talking about his 18 foot jumper range.

I am talking about his 18-wheeler/ power forward persona range.

Karl Malone is simulatneously the blackest man and whitest black man on the face of this earth.

You know...drives hard to the rim, rebounds, muscular. In other words, he's everything a Jewish guy isn't.

But then he's into 18 wheelers, and shooting squirrels.

He's like this crazy sort of hillbilly mixed with this crazy sort of nubian warrior.


andycat stayed in the red at 10:16 AM


Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I am in the midst of a three week vacation providing me plenty of opportunities to not only think, but to blog about my thoughts.

So -- clearly -- there are problems here.

I have been dating her for one year now, and it wasn't until the one year mark that I wanted to know the specifics of her dating past.

And -- clearly -- this is generally not a healthy topic of discussion.

I knew that prior to asking her the details of her past, I had to be prepared for the litany of emotions that would subsequently follow and more precisely, the emotion of jealousy.

Even though I feel like I love her, part of my brain resents her dating past with an unspeakable ferocity. Which is interesting because now whenever I feel like I love her, I unconsciously feel grains of jealousy. And it is becoming harder and harder for me to process those two emotions.

So -- clearly -- I am not psychologically flawless.

When you love somebody, you become fascinated by the myriad of components that define that person. If I were to try to explain Anel's life, it is an unfathomable collection of events, all things considered.

And when I say "all things", I truly mean the entire spectrum of her existence: her ex-boyfriend, her mom, USC, the role of Mexican - American females, catholoicism, her ex-boyfriend, the coat of paint in her bedroom, Beyonce Knowles, Chinese Checkers, works of Latin American fiction, romantic comedies, the factors which contribute to a female's emotional dependency on men, and her ex-boyfriend.

However, all that stuff is her life; that stuff has nothing to do with me, really, and it would be wrong for me to comment on anything that doesn't affect me directly.

(In fact, it's probably wrong for me to even comment on the things that do affect me, since she's obviously a real person who probably does not expect to have her life brodcast over the Internet).


andycat stayed in the red at 3:53 AM


Monday, December 24, 2007

When I read this blog from four years ago, I cringe. I was 23 years old, going through one of the darkest periods of my life quite uncertain about that status of my career, and positively uncertain about my mental health.

I used to drink alot too.

Alot of posts were dedicated to the general nonsense of being in your early twenties, and while the excuse "I was young" may hold true, I still cringe at my usage of improper grammar, syntax, and spelling.

I view these previous postings from the perspective of a psychologist, witnessing a pattern of self-destructive behavior -- alcohol, drugs, gambling.

But today much of this behavior has ceased for a number of reasons.

At 25, the miles on my body began to take its toll.
At 26, the focus on my career shifted.
And at 27, a beautiful partner came into my life.

Pushing that former 23 year old hypermasculine ego aside I will say that she has become a stabilizing force in my life that I was lacking and I love her immensely for this.


andycat stayed in the red at 11:41 AM


Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Today I am for: Christmas quesadillas, inverse functions, paste, Trevor Ariza, and Clayton Kershaw

Today I am against: Glue Sticks.

My mindstate is currently one-dimensional. All I see are inverse functions.

Logarithms, yo.


andycat stayed in the red at 12:28 PM