Brown Skin Lady.
Sunday, December 28, 2003
There's this girl I work with of Mexican/ Polish descent. She's not the fliest girl I've ever laid eyes on, but she's cute. She smiles alot, has an infectious laugh, and exudes an aura of positivity. I find that attractive and it makes her that much prettier.
There's three types of women I generally meet.
1. The really girly/ gossipy ones that take 67 minutes to get ready in the morning and wear makeup to the gym and the beach. Insecure women who seem to always man-hate yet always seem to be on the prowl for a boyfriend.
2. Crass/ potty-mouth girls who only have guy friends. They're fun but can be a little much at times.
3. Lesbos.
And then once in a while you'll meet that cool Lauryn Hill type of girl who are just balanced. She is secure with her sense of feminitiy to get along with all girls but cool enough to BS with the fellas without getting offended. She's nurturing yet independent. She sensitive yet unflappable.
I like them girls.
Well I'm attracted to homegirl's style so I guess it's time to bust out the ACAT charm. Pardon me while I think of something to say:
Your face is jammin. Your body's hecka slammin.
Let's do this right and get our groove on steady.
Honey check it out, you got me...
Whatever. There's no such thing as "game". Just be myself, and hit'em with that dynamite soul. Ya dig?
andycat stayed in the red at 10:40 AM
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
I'm thinking I should start dating again. Not be so afraid of women. Not that I'm literally afraid of women, it's more of the whole attachment thing. But the only thoughts on my mind lately involve something along the lines of:
Are you a man? And can you stand alone like a man has to sometimes?
I have this vision to stand alone. Travel alone. Watch movies alone. Cook alone. And be this self-sufficient man willing to go out and save the lives of our children even if it means losing my own.
But there's only so much solitariness you can have after a while before you're completely organized, refrigerator's fully stocked, masturbations done, and your underwears are completely so fresh and so clean (clean).
And that's when you get lonely. Thoughts start snowballing. What defines you, Andy? Start thinking about how it would be fun to just BS with some homies. And how it would be great for the ego if a girl were admiring my every move.
I see myself with a really lighthearted girl. One whose laugh is endearing. Whose smile can light up the other side of the room. I like those girls.
Maybe I pick up the art of flirting. Or maybe I do what I been doing and what seems to be working. Let them come to me.
My new year's resolution is to stop objectifying women.
Unless they objectify themselves. With their hooker-tight wears. And their skin all exposed. And titties all mashed together popping out the top of their turtleneck. Cuz you may not be a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform.
Then all is fair.
Because equity, patience, knowledge, wisdom, health are the keys to life. Is it possible to have high expectactions without no patience?
andycat stayed in the red at 12:46 AM
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Please add 2003 Fantasy Football League Champion to all the other things I've accomplished in the past week.
Big ups to the Chilean Sea Bass.
andycat stayed in the red at 7:23 AM
Monday, December 22, 2003
Seriously, yo. The terror alerts at orange. Whats after orange? Red? And after that? Deathcon 4? I guess I should start buying stuff for the revolution.
I feel safe with this guy protecting me. I try and I try to stop these voices going on in my head but there's just certain shit I can't honor. Terror alerts. Electric can openers. Coast guards with ski masks. Homogeneous crowds. Frappacinos.
I don't shoot. I just punch alot.
Like my man a.per.wep. Jeah, killah.
andycat stayed in the red at 1:51 PM
Saturday, December 20, 2003
O god. 4AM. Can't sleep.
Got a whole lot of work in about two hours going on 18 months. Grad school.
I'm coming to grips that the Land of Up will be my home for the next two years.
Idiots. Welcome to fast food haven aka Upland, CA.
Identity revolves around what? Beer? Cars? Boyfriends? Girlfriends? Music? Starbucks?
Try family and friends. Try culture.
Think I might just hibernate at the CGU library for the next 18 months until I'm armed with the masters thesis and
Ready to attack
with my identity intact
unlike the masses
way out here in the back.
At D-Dub's house party the other night when this exchange happened between me and a Vietnamese girl:
You go to UCLA?
No.
What do you do?
I make coffee.
Where?
Claremont Grad Univ. In Education. Gonna be a teacher.
Huh? Where was your undergrad? What was your major?
UCSB. Business Economics.
I thought you said you make coffee.
Yeah, you confused yet?
Yes.
Good.
You know pretty standard stuff. Me, drunk and messing with a broad's head. Then she floored me with this question:
So how do your parents feel about you being a teacher with your economics degree?
Only an Asian person would ask a question like that. I dig.
andycat stayed in the red at 4:38 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
December Birthday's, yo. Too many. Its like all your parents decided to get busy in March. Why March? I guess during March it's still cold. Moms and Pops all snuggling up by the fireplace, drinking some brandy, one thing leads to another and ....BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW...
DW is conceived. Happy Birthday to the homie, Tenacious D-Dub, Funky Jew, "She's really Jewish, Andy, and that ain't my steez", Dave to the Weiner. Like I said before, if there's anybody who would step in the line of fire for you, it's this fool. He's down for his homies. Down for whatever. Down to earth. Down to the up. Down to the pillow. Just a down-ass fella, ready to let you rock his leisure suit and get Goosed up with you at the drop of a deuce.
Happy Birthday, homie.
andycat stayed in the red at 5:43 PM
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL I GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GOT GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL GRAD SCHOOL IN.
TADOW!
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?
andycat stayed in the red at 1:12 PM
Sunday, December 14, 2003
I don't like receiving letters from the LAPD. Can't help but think to myself, what the hell did I do now? So imagine my surprise when I received a letter addressed to me from the LAPD.
Opened it up and it says:
Confidentional Personal Inquiry. _______________ is an applicant for the position of Police Officer with the City of Los Angeles. We have been informed that you have knowledge of the applicants character, qualifications and general fitness.
LAPD. Pulled me over and harassed when I was in high school and searched my car. Given tickets for going 75 in a 65. Fix-it tickets for tint and not having a front license plate.
So what should I say?
This person is a peon. His qualifications include, not knowing what a rice cooker looks like, bad taste in music, and a penchant for leaving toast crumbs all over the counter. I once outran him in a 100 meter race. He is not fit.
HAHAHAHA. I make myself laugh. All those statements are true too. Turns out this person happens to be my old roommate in SB. But actually he's a good person. I lived with him for three years. Three whole years! From junior year to my fifth year. Can't honestly say I know him to well. We had absolutely nothing in common. But I lived with him for three years! You would think I would know something about him. But really I don't.
Actually,
I know the type of shampoo he uses.
The cereal he eats.
The beer he drinks.
The type of girls he dates.
He kicked butt as a roommate. Bills always paid on time. Real respectful of my space. And even though I don't know him to well, I always enjoyed the small talk we had. How was your day? How's your girl? How are the parents? What's going on tonight? Want a beer?
I'd live with him again if I could. I'm honored he chose me to fill out this form. I want to say something really nice.
Word.
And how ill was it when Joe Horn busted out the cell phone from underneath the goal post after scoring a touchdown?He said it would probably cost him 10 to 15,000, but it was worth it.
Expensive celebration. If I had 10,000 to throw away, it wouldn't be on a TD celebration. I'd buy a ticket to Chile. Then I'd buy a ticket to NY. Then I'd make a few trips to the bay. Buy some Candied Apples. And some oatmeal raisin cookies. And the Fabolous CD.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:05 PM
Spending this weekend by myself. Had birthday dinner with sister. She's lost her soul in her new married life.
She's forgot her roots. Living out her dream of marrying a rich dude. Okay, maybe not her dream, but my mom's dream. Is she happy? I want to say yes. Does she have peace of mind?
That's the more important question.
I haven't had peace of mind as of late. I'm shook. Blunted on reality. Acutally, blunted on dextromethorphan -- the active ingredient in cold medicine which makes you hallucinate. Wondering if this phone call will ever happen.
"Hello, Andrew?"
Yes.
"This is Rosa from CGU. We've accepted you into our program."
It's about freakin time.
I have nothing else to say. Actually I do, I'm just to lazy to actually think and write something creative.
Land of Up sucks. But LA ain't that cool either. I feel trapped. Been genuine since '89, still ain't half-steppin...but it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Time for me to move out and pay some rent.
I just want my friends to be happy.
andycat stayed in the red at 1:23 AM
Thursday, December 11, 2003
What to talk about that hasn't already been talked about. Sports? Girls? Quarter-life crisis? Literature? Soft, chewy oatmeal raisin cookies? I been there. I been done that.
I brought her home with me after meeting her at the record store. The whole ride home, all I could think about was how I wanted to hear her voice shouting at the top of her lungs. Got home. Unwrapped the plastic. Popped it in....and...
Damn this a good album.
Hip to the Hop.
So I'm late with this J5, Power in Numbers but I got it for 8 bones and its off the nose. Yeah, the sugarhillin gets to be a little much at times, and call them the NSYNC of hiphop with the harmonies...but they're creative. Anybody that's seen J5 in concert had to be impressed when Cut Chemist comes out and starts scratching on the Fisher Price record player. Charlie 2na has got to be one of the most underrated MC's out there. His herman munster-esque verbal attack makes me wanna break into my b-boy stance and battle the next guy who steps into the arena.
Oh thats right, I don't know how to.
Whatever, I'm funky.
You're not.
Sucks to be you.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:28 PM
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Music offers a natural high. I ain't gon diss people tastes in music, because if they rockin to it with permagrin on the grill then you can't front. They're having fun.
I wouldn't say music defines me. I wouldn't say hip hop defines me. But I do admire the culture.
Funny how you can tell a lot about someone by scrolling throught their music collection.
I'm a true school head.
Cuz you know, before there was guns, there was native tongues.
Sick of these mobsters attacking the dance floor.
Remember when Hiphop was fun? It was real refreshing to cop this PB Wolf/ Charizman album. Check out Jack the Mack, Apple Juice Break, and Ice Cream Truck.
The hightop fade was ill.
Happy Birthday to my main man, Maximus Lishansky. Wish I had hung out with you more while in Santa Barbara, but I guess we boys now so that's all that matters. I dig your rationale state of mind, your wit, your hospitality during my treks to SB. I know you have the ability to think outside the box. Anybody whose book collection includes, Saul Williams, the Zone Diet, and various literature on state of mind is a definitely progressive-minded. You are good peoples and I'm happy to call you a friend.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:31 PM
Chalk one up for the Vietnamese Freedom Fighter in all of us. After talking to the District Manager at Starbucks and denouncing the below instances of racial insensitivity directed at me, she filed a complaint to Human Resources and gave my manager an earful.
The power was in my hands. The district manager asked me what I felt was the appropriate penalty for such ignorance. I could've said -- I want her fired.
I came into work with my manager explaining how she wasn't a racist. She wasn't thinking. And how she was truly sorry. She told me that if I felt uncomfortable working with her, that I could transfer to another store.
And while she was apologizing and in near tears, I almost felt that it wasn't enough.
I wanted to describe to her my rage, tell her that ignorance would get her nowhere. I wanted to let her know that while she's amused by Mr. Miyagi, I'm constantly processing my angst and questioning my concept of Asian Identity. I wanted to tell her that while she's living in this one dimension world of media perception, I have a history of being racially profiled. While she's living in corporate america and following rules given to her by a book, I'm unceasingly questioning:
Love or the lack thereof.
Asianness.
America's exclusion of people of color who make the "melting" pot what it is.
And though I was angry. I kept silent. Listened to her explain herself.
I want you fired.
But this is a single mom with a six year old boy.
I showed pity. Gave her a hug. Told her that I accepted the apology, there was no need for me to transfer, to ask questions about my ethnicity to prevent any further lack of ignorance. And most importantly, to move on.
Raise your fist.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:25 AM
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Sitting on the floor in Dave's pad on the wireless tip bout to get bloggin. And while Dave is snoring away, I'm awake and consumed with some thoughts:
Friend A has a chance of a lifetime to go to Thailand. Been wanting to go for three years and finally purchases a ticket for Bangkok two months ago. About to leave in a few weeks when he decides to cancel his plans....
Why? For a girl. His reasoning: I think its good for me.
Friend B doesn't show up to a Christmas Party where a gift exchange is occuring. Lets people down because he doesn't show up and people are left without gifts.
Why? For a girl. His explanation: Don't tell anybody, Andy.
Hopeless romantics or just plain idiots?
I like women. I do. But its called self-control. I don't cancel plans to travel for a girl because I think its good for me. I know travelling is good for me. I don't flake out on friends for a girl. I realize that when she's gone, my friends are there for me.
Your dick is playing tricks on you fellas.
But you know what? When them broads are gone -- and they will be gone -- I'll still be right here ready to watch the game and play some Madden with you with a simple phone call.
Palabra.
December 5, 2002. 7AM:
I wake up with some evocative suicidal thoughts. Staring at a bottle of nyquil, prescription Xanax, and some liqour. What a lethal combination. I need help.
Ring...Ring...Ring...
Kaiser Permanente Office of Mental Health. How can I help you?
I need to talk to somebody. Its urgent.
Can you come in at 8:30?
8:30? In an hour? I'll be there.
8:30 and your therapist's name is Anra Hirciga.
Hi Anra, I want to hurt myself. There's something wrong with me. Help.
Andy, you are depressed. How do you feel about medication?
If it helps...why not?
You'll see Dr. Zinke at 3:00 this afternoon.
OK.
I'm prescribing to you fluoxetine.
Huh? What's that? What the differenc between that and Prozac?
Fluoxetine is Prozac.
Oh. OK.
That was one year ago. I met Ann that night. And what a wonderful experience that was while it lasted. I just want to thank her for lifting my spirits, and bringing my soul back from the grave.
Though I'm not exactly the happy-go-lucky guy I aspire to be on a consistent basis, I have a lot more hope today than I did one year ago.
Time to wake this fool up.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:01 AM
Friday, December 05, 2003
At the starbucks xmas party last night. Yeah we'd been drinking. I was having fun. Shooting some pool. I wasn't doing to well. And then this comment came from my manager, a fat lady who none of the employees are to fond of:
Andy, I don't mean to be stereotypical but you should be good at this game. You're Chinese.
I'm not Chinese.
Whatever, you're oriental.
Oriental's an outdated term.
And then she busts out with some sort of mock asian accent, talking some jibberish about Daniel Son.
Who the fuck are you to be joking around with me, especially about something as sensitive as my culture? I barely know you. You ain't my friend. And I'm irate. So I just get up and leave, telling her I'm going outside to get a breath of fresh air. I regain composure, walk back into the party and just brush it off.
No confrontation needed. Why let ignorance get to me? I do take solace knowing that these people have to live with themselves in their one-dimensional state of media perception. Maybe I should just report to corporate.
And anybody that starts off with the phrase: I don't mean to be stereotypical or anything...
Is racist.
A few weeks back, the NY Mets Organization fired Bill Singer after he made racially insensitive remarks to Kim Ng, the Chinese-American General Manager for the Dodgers. The statment left by the Mets to the AP:
As a matter of policy our organization cannot and will not tolerate any comment or conduct by an employee that suggests insensitivity or intolerance to any racial, ethnic or religious group," Duquette said in a statement. "Any deviation from this standard is not acceptable
Starbucks does have a policy on such racial harassment but I'm wondering if I should report it or just let it go.
andycat stayed in the red at 3:29 PM
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Been writing, yo. Got the brain spinning in churn mode. Got a question to answer on the interview tomorrow. That's right, the interview consists of a writing portion and me having the connections found the question I have to answer:
Describe how public school systems can improve
I have 30 minutes to answer that question but I'm actually writing it right now. And then, get this. I'm bringing in the cheat sheet into the interview. How gangsta am I?
So while I feeling creative and promiscous with the compliments, Happy Birthday to Mr. Chilean Sea Bass himself, Carlos DeCastro. Homie has now entered the workforce, straight getting his paycheck on. And I know half of you out there are sitting behind a desk at this very moment getting paid to read the profound words of yours truly. Yet graciously and humbly I don't ask for any of your money while I sit here slaving away, coming up with witty comments, and entertaining faculties of thought. All I ask is that if you're at work and you dig what your reading, can I get a shout out and a side order of cheering?
Fuck that. I don't need your love. I'm a soldier. Independent like a cat on the prowl gaining my definition in this world of who knew? And fuck you's and shit's. And damn's. And fart's. And cunt's.
Sorry. I sometimes feel the need to add a four-lettered expletive in my nonsensical rants.
Fuck that. I ain't apologizing.
Anyway, I also have to answer a question in the interview tomorrow regarding handling the challenges of teaching full time and grad school.
To quote Chilean Sea Bass himself:
but anyways now that this damn search is finally over i just wanted to thank you
guys for always being there for me. this last year has pretty much sucked for
me, but i dont know what i would have done without your constant friendship. you
guys all mean a lot to me, and even though i am now super far away, just know
that none of you are never far from my thoughts
I'll be sure to mention how my friends, my support network, all you folks in the pics below are therapy to a little Vietnamese guy. No Joke.
Happy 24, Chilean Sea Bass.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:10 AM
ESPN
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AIM: ANDYDOAN1
E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com
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