Brown Skin Lady.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
In the Sports Guy's mailbag a few weeks bag, a reader posed a question along the lines of:
What's the appropriate term for the female version of Sausage-fest. For example, I would join that women's gym, but it would be a total ------fest.
I posed that question to a few drunken patrons at the bar this weekend. Some answers included:
Taco-fest.
Sushi-fest.
Menstru-fest.
But the one answer that nearly slayed me was:
Unbaked dough-fest.
Wow! Now there's a visual.
Your suggestions?
andycat stayed in the red at 6:23 AM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
ucsbcub1: they have lots of kids
ANDYDOAN1: too many
ANDYDOAN1: and i have to teach them all
ANDYDOAN1: and they don't know how to multiply
ucsbcub1: teach them in terms they understand
ucsbcub1: like low riders
ucsbcub1: or crack rocks
ANDYDOAN1: so if i have two low rider's
ANDYDOAN1: and three crack rocks
ucsbcub1: in each
ucsbcub1: how many total crack rocks to u have
ANDYDOAN1: how many crack rocks total
ANDYDOAN1: cool
ucsbcub1: and they will answer hella fast
ANDYDOAN1: hahahahhahaha
ANDYDOAN1: this goin on the blog
ucsbcub1: oh great
andycat stayed in the red at 7:34 AM
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
I haven't had a roommate in two years.
I have one now.
Max.
Good roommate.
Even better friend.
Lots of chicken breasts.
Plenty of gatorade.
Some weights when we can motivate.
Sprints on the weekends.
A few breezy's comin thru to the new pad.
Our kitchen sink was clogged. And Max had a toilet bowl plunger.
After some coaxing, he finally let me use it to unclog the kitchen sink.
So if you ever come over,
and the water your drinking from that glass literally tastes like shit,
it's Max's deuce your consuming.
But we've been noshing on vegetables and raisin bran...so no worries...
our colon's are cleansed beyond that swiffer mopped floor your stepping on.
The BS is genuine...
...if that makes any sense.
And we got Jenn's bug.
UCSB Squad. Man, I love you guys.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:37 PM
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Got nekkid with Lora.
She's 4'8
I'm 5'6.
Flung her around.
So this is what 6'0 feels like.
I dig.
andycat stayed in the red at 8:20 PM
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Lack of updates attributed to not having the new placed wired.
Nothing glorious to say anyway.
Lets see
If I didn't have to work and make money and have a "career"...
I would:
travel
blog
work out
brush my teeth
swim
eat three meals daily
I think I've gone on two dates with Lora. A third date is around the corner.
Haven't gotten nekkid yet though.
Sucks.
She takes zoloft which she blames for her decreased libido.
Good answer.
Cuz really...
Ask the ladies.
I'm irresistable!
Especially since Max and I have been hitting the all in one multi-purpose weight machine from back in the days when JFK was invading pigs, make love (not rap) was outta control, Bush Jr. didn't report to the guard, Kerry shooting himself in the foot, and steroids being injected into Arnold.
I'm really not one to talk politics.
andycat stayed in the red at 5:45 PM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
O god.
Friday morning. 5AM
Wake up, go to work.
Teach math to kids who can't speak English.
Get off work at 4PM.
Call Lora.
Little 4'8 Japanese girl.
So you wanna hang out tonight?
Pick homegirl up.
Eat Tapas.
Get Drunk off Sangria.
Go to Little Temple.
Make out on the dance floor.
Take Lora Home.
So can I come in?
Not tonight, Andy.
Drive home by 2AM.
Have class in 2 hours.
Need to do homework.
Need to move in with Max Tonight.
Head, spinning.
Eyes, bloodshot.
Body, stressed.
Mental state, wacky.
andycat stayed in the red at 7:00 AM
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Friday Night.
Irvine.
Hangin with the Junior High Crew.
At the lodge.
Been drinking.
Justin Warfield rockin through the speakers.
See cute brown girl out the corner of my eye.
Hi, What's your name?
Christina
Where you from Christina?
Santa Barbara
Ahh, word? I went to school there.
I just graduated.
BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.
Got the number.
Saturday Night.
Hollywood. Cinespace.
Chillin with the Bret-ster.
Drinking Ketel Rocks.
See brown girls.
Yes, plural.
Hi, I'm Andy. What's your name?
Joy. This is Jen. Nice to meet you, Andy. What's your background.
Vietnamese.
Our friend over there? Alexis, she's Vietnamese. You should go talk to her.
Ok. [Walk over to Alexis]. Hi, Alexis. My name's Andy. Your friends tell me your Vietnamese.
Yeah, I'm kinda white-washed though.
Nonsense! You are who you are.
Ok, so what's your style?
My style? Shieeeeet....
!Siempre Fresco!
HAHAHAHAHAH
My style?
Wild. Wild like Whipple Whip.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Not sure if that was a courtesy laugh or if she actually got that reference.
Regardless, got the number.
andycat stayed in the red at 1:29 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
You wanna talk blog-worthy.
Veronica Brooks.
ohhhhhyoubetcha: go with the q
ohhhhhyoubetcha: but i might have to answer it in an hour when i'm at work
ANDYDOAN1: might need a date tonight
ANDYDOAN1: interested?
ohhhhhyoubetcha: HA
ohhhhhyoubetcha: wait, you're not serio right
ANDYDOAN1: no, i'm serious. but i'm still not sure if this couple is going out
ANDYDOAN1: see it'd be three of us. but it'd be more fun if i had you to hang out with
ohhhhhyoubetcha: ha. sorry i didn't mean to guffaw at you
ohhhhhyoubetcha: in that case sure
ANDYDOAN1: ok cool. but it's still all up in the air. how bout i call you later with further details?
ohhhhhyoubetcha: perfection
ohhhhhyoubetcha: i've got my board on my car
ohhhhhyoubetcha: because i was going to go surf after work
ohhhhhyoubetcha: and return a video to vidiots
ohhhhhyoubetcha: (for work)
ohhhhhyoubetcha: but lemmmmeee know
ohhhhhyoubetcha: if its late
ANDYDOAN1: okie doke
ohhhhhyoubetcha: i can still do both
ohhhhhyoubetcha: swell
ohhhhhyoubetcha: OHHHHH.
ohhhhhyoubetcha: do we get to make out?!?!
ohhhhhyoubetcha: its the only way i'm coming.
ANDYDOAN1: i don't see why not
ohhhhhyoubetcha: and if you comment on the blog on my bush.
ohhhhhyoubetcha: hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa
ohhhhhyoubetcha: sorry. i'm a little punchy
ohhhhhyoubetcha: bad sleep.
ohhhhhyoubetcha: talk to you soon
ANDYDOAN1: i don't objectify women
I'd go down on her. And love her long time.
Kidding. Kidding.
Or am I?
Frickin wild turkey man.
andycat stayed in the red at 8:47 AM
RBhavsar: andy!
RBhavasr: KOBE IS FREE!...this is blog worthy.
It's 2:40 AM. And I'm semi-drunk.
Would blog about Kobe's freedom,
As well as the whore of an accuser's gold diggin vagina.
But, it's 2:40 AM yo.
And I've been taken shots of wild turkey.
With Joel Ceballos.
So it's time to pass out.
Peace.
andycat stayed in the red at 2:40 AM
ESPN
Cicely
Daily Nexus
Sneak Move
Dodger Blues
LA Times
Food Network
Growth
AIM: ANDYDOAN1
E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com
Decay
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