Brown Skin Lady


Brown Skin Lady. Monday, November 29, 2004 We've all been there. Cruisin down the street. Listening to the funky drummer drummin. And then...it happens. The turtlehead. So do you pull over and find the nearest public restroom, or do you make like Mario Andretti and bust home where you can be in the comfort of your own throne and search for internet porn on your laptop while you take that dump???? I know of people who carry toilet paper in their car in case of such emergencies. That person is not me. What if you were in the middle of nowhere...turtlehead peeping out, had no toilet paper, and the nearest public restroom just happened to be inside of a ummmmm....I don't know... Say, a strip club. Do you pay the $15 cover to get into the strip club and use el bano? Or do you just hold it. Taking a dump inside a strip club. There's a visual. andycat stayed in the red at 11:48 PM Sunday, November 28, 2004 Let's talk about fear. No, no...not that type of fear you get when you flush the toilet and see the water rise, type of fear. Not that fear you get when you're alone on a saturday night, and your watching America's Most Wanted. I'm talking real fear. Shit myself fear. Hope I wake up soon, cuz I'm sick of being chased by this mutant pirrahna, fear. Yall know what type of fear i'm talking about. The fear you get before opening your online checking statement. And then the brower refreshes... And you start asking yourself question like-- What the hell did I spend $16.43 at Wal-mart for????? O, that's rite. The trapper keeper with the elephant on it and some bubble tape. Time to go spend more money on a digital camera. andycat stayed in the red at 2:44 PM Saturday, November 27, 2004 acat, and i'm ready to work it out... Giving thanks, respect, and props to the architects who have inspired me keep this blog: to the fellas, for never ceasing to amaze me with your candid humor. to zankou chicken, for feeding me the past couple of days. to max, for paying the internet bill so i can write this blog. to max's pirrahna, for enternaining me with your fish eating skills. to MC Supernatural, for spittin ill freestyles. to Red Stripe Beer, for inebriating a little vietnamese fella. to Fuji water, for keeping me hydrated. to Verizon Wireless, for supplying me with legendary service. to Porn, for without you, dave could not send me pix on my phone every friday. to breasts, because breasts are awesome. to hip hop, for always inspiring me to come clean. to masturbation, because in times of loneliness you always lend a helping (left) hand hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha ummmmm...did i just take it there????? best believe that. andycat stayed in the red at 9:21 PM Wednesday, November 24, 2004 Chat Rooms, yo. M9 Tupac(10:33:25 PM): kckckckckckckkkckckck M9 Tupac(10:33:26 PM): brb ANDYDOAN1(10:33:33 PM): serious? M9 Tupac(10:33:41 PM): gotta say hi to my loved ones ANDYDOAN1(10:33:54 PM): soooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. might as well just go to the strip club M9 Tupac(10:34:13 PM): diff = i will be back and in bed in 15 min M9 Tupac(10:34:17 PM): strip club = 3 hrs stale shortbread(10:34:25 PM): hahaha... he does hav a point ANDYDOAN1(10:34:27 PM): you will be there for at least one hour stale shortbread(10:34:40 PM): is a good point also M9 Tupac(10:34:41 PM): if she gives me a lap dance, i will be there for an hour ANDYDOAN1(10:34:45 PM): rud, kcckkckckckckcccccccccccc is our neighbor M9 Tupac(10:34:47 PM): otherwise, i will be back in 15 stale shortbread(10:35:01 PM): nise ANDYDOAN1(10:35:11 PM): definitely a 37 year old black women M9 Tupac(10:35:18 PM): hot ANDYDOAN1(10:35:18 PM): with huge dawgs stale shortbread(10:35:22 PM): extra nise! M9 Tupac(10:35:23 PM): ridiculous dawgs andycat stayed in the red at 10:37 PM Friday, November 19, 2004 BurntPancakes (6:20:50 AM): it is 6 am ANDYDOAN1 (6:21:15 AM): lesson plans. ANDYDOAN1 (6:21:32 AM): ok, i'm writing a blog. BurntPancakes (6:21:53 AM): haha BurntPancakes (6:21:53 AM): word BurntPancakes (6:21:57 AM): do your thing BurntPancakes (6:22:09 AM): use the phrase "potato xxxplosion" ANDYDOAN1 (6:25:23 AM): word ANDYDOAN1 (6:25:45 AM): just put it in ANDYDOAN1 (6:25:52 AM): has no relevance to what i'm talking about. BurntPancakes (6:25:58 AM): hahahahahah BurntPancakes (6:26:01 AM): laughing ANDYDOAN1 (6:32:17 AM): how's the saving money for south america going for you? BurntPancakes (6:32:58 AM): well if you count the fact that i have to slang yay to 6 y/os it is all good ANDYDOAN1 (6:34:16 AM): handle your business. BurntPancakes (6:34:23 AM): hahahah, serio BurntPancakes (6:34:29 AM): thank god for federal rehab programs BurntPancakes (6:34:37 AM): the kids will be fine and i will get to go to rio BurntPancakes (6:34:44 AM): mutually beneficial! ANDYDOAN1 (6:34:55 AM): i sell illegal firearms out the trunk of the envoy to my students ANDYDOAN1 (6:35:08 AM): I'm the cool teacher. andycat stayed in the red at 6:36 AM Went into SBUX yesterday. Old job. Familiar faces. Except for the cute girl working the register. Ass is fat. Frame is little. Who she? Asked one of the familiar Baristas to introduce me to her... Aisha, this is Andy. He used to work here. Hi Andy, nice to meet you! (Friendly smile, firm handshake, very enthusiastic.) Good to meet you to. So how you like working here? It's alot of fun. I've heard stories about you, wish you were still working here. Oh yeah? Good stories, I hope. smile So what are you doing now? I'm a Math Teacher. Cool! I need some tutoring in Algebra 2. I could help you out. Ummm...how old are you? 16. I go to Claremont High. Oh....ok...well...I'm sure somebody here still has my number....so ask Vera. ------------------------------------ DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. Potato XXXPlosion???? More like R. Kelly XXXplosion. What the hell's wrong with me? --------------------------------------- "West Coast Office Quotacious Quotes" on deck. There's been some serious nonsense at the Greenery. andycat stayed in the red at 6:13 AM Tuesday, November 16, 2004 The 3 glasses of wine... The cigar... And the P.F. muthafukn Kang's... Is not helping the progression! DAMMIT. Self Control. Discipline. Must look good for South America. andycat stayed in the red at 7:14 AM Sunday, November 14, 2004 Tracking progression. Check back in one month. West Coast Office ain't nuttin to f*** wit. andycat stayed in the red at 6:48 PM Saturday, November 13, 2004 No longer Andrew or Andy. Forget andycat or the shortened acat. I don't even know where a-kitty came from. Pretend that one never happened. It's now Andre. Dre if your nasty. andycat stayed in the red at 1:22 PM Thursday, November 11, 2004 EPMD Appreciation Post Ever misplace something only to find it two years later? And then get really estatic because such a cherished item that you thought was lost has now been rediscovered? This item could be, i don't know... A photograph of how good looking we were in college A previous crush, who has rekindled her interest in you. Or in my case, a burned CD of the Greatest Rap Duo of all time, EPMD. Erick and Parish Making Dollars. Oh hell yeah! I can't really explain the high I get rollin in the Envoy to Erick Sermon's sample-reliant grimy production with Parish Smith spittin braggadocio raps and dissin sucka MCs. But I'm sure heads in the know feel me. Oh and if you didn't know, Max and I are cruisin into Vegas rockin identical outfits -- denim wigwams and Dapper Dan suits. Cuz it's 1988, time to set it straight. EPMD style. andycat stayed in the red at 10:21 PM Monday, November 08, 2004 Dope dope dope. Someone has finally whored himself onto my site as a guest blogger. How fitting that the first whore be Mr. Wep? Soul Brutha!!!!!!! Blogging live from Seattle, WA. Sunday at 2:41. I was shopping with Jerry Rice up here in Seattle. We were talking about living in the Bay Area and how it is soooo different up here. He said that he was used to the gray skies, since SF can get pretty gray sometimes, but that the culture up here was so different and that he wasn’t that happy. I mentioned that maybe he wasn’t happy because he was traded for a three-time loser and a late round draft pick. Mix that with the super bleak afternoon, the long lines at the REI store, and too many tourists at Pike Place Market, and he was pissed. Anyway, so the point was that I was shopping. When I travel I get to think a lot. I like to think about my friends. So, slam the two together. Here is what I would get my friends from Seattle. (Notice the “would,” since I am not really getting any of you anything but a blog posting) 1/ Kid Q – sushi roller – if there is one person who I know who would use one, it is Matt. I could see him rolling sushi all Friday night. Or maybe Saturday night, with his excitement bubbling for the next day’s Barrons. Weirdo. I would get one here, the store has all kinds of good stuff, including Mochi ice cream, bok choi, and an extensive Ju Jitsu section in the books store. 2/ DW – hella beef jerky – they have Oh Boy Oberto beef jerky outlets up here. If they had a skoal outlet, I would get some of that for d-dub, too. Well, hmm, now that I think about it, maybe just a case of Sake. 3/ Josh – Tickets to the EMP. This fool is all about experiences. 4/ Sepi – education books from the University of Washington. Sepi’s degrees have degrees. 5/ ACat – Season’s tickets to the Mariners. I am sure that A Cat would loooovvee watching Ichiro for a full season and wearing all kinds of North Face gear to the game, since that is what Seattleites do. 6/Maxim – Chinese chicks. Hella Chinese chicks. They are everywhere. 7/ Baruti - Seattle Live Music. I would take Rud out to drinks here. They have awesome blues. Sometimes when you are walking by you can feel the percussion trying to pounce out the window. I think that if we went here, we could get hammered and Baruti could find some unsavory skanks to richen his writing experience. 8/ Carlos - Sonics Courtside tix go up to $775. Since this is hypothetical, I would hypothetically get the good seats for the homie. I mean, we might as well sit next to Jack. 9/ JC - c’mon, still gotta get somethin’ for JC. To not, that would be downright rude. Elliot Bay Book. It would be something from here. The bookstore is all wood, and old. It smells, but they have everything. There has to be some cool pop up book of pac-northwest art. I’ll look. Did I miss any of the regulars? Probably. I am a dick. Oh, and did I forget to remind you? The sun sets in the West. So nice. I’m out. Red eye straight to work tomorrow. Peasers. andycat stayed in the red at 5:02 PM Sunday, November 07, 2004 dhrdave2 has entered the room. ANDYDOAN1(9:29:34 AM): what the hell ANDYDOAN1(9:29:36 AM): chat room? dhrdave2(9:29:36 AM): chat room (9:29:38 AM)M9 Tupac has entered the room. dhrdave2(9:29:43 AM): chat room is money ANDYDOAN1(9:29:54 AM): when was the last time i was in a chat room M9 Tupac(9:30:01 AM): 8th grade dhrdave2(9:30:02 AM): last night, with the web cam dhrdave2(9:30:09 AM): o wait, that was me M9 Tupac(9:30:10 AM): asking for warez and getting porn pix dhrdave2(9:30:18 AM): warez ANDYDOAN1(9:30:20 AM): fool. that's no joke andycat stayed in the red at 9:39 AM Rock Paper Scissors Appreciation Post Rock Paper Scissors? Otherwise known as RPS. It's gotta be the ultimate non-conflict resolution skill. Think about it. RPS was used as a kid when you wanted to be the first one in line for tetherball. RPS is used as an adult to determine who gets to ride shotgun, who gets off the couch to get a beer, who approaches the hot girl at the bar... (which I did last night...only to have her yell at me --- "DO YOU NORMALLY DO THAT?" Yes bitch, it's a bar.) The best strategy to RPS??? Psyching your opponent out. Get in his head. Tell him what your gonna throw. This automatically puts him on the defensive. I'm talking TR Dunn defensive. (And if you actually got that reference, word to professor bird.) andycat stayed in the red at 8:48 AM Tuesday, November 02, 2004 Tuesday. Sitting at work. Gonna spend the next 5 minutes of my life writing this post when I should be making some lesson plans. High School is a jungle. Very atypical from the serenity and focus found in the office. My office? Teenagers droppin f-bombs like its hot. Scattered papers everywhere. Jackets which need to go in the lost and found. Teenage angst running rampant. O god, hope i make it through today. Vote or die. andycat stayed in the red at 7:45 AM	Exponential ESPN Cicely Daily Nexus Sneak Move Dodger Blues LA Times Food Network Growth AIM: ANDYDOAN1 E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com Decay 03.03 04.03 05.03 06.03 07.03 08.03 09.03 10.03 11.03 12.03 01.04 02.04 03.04 04.04 05.04 06.04 07.04 08.04 09.04 10.04 11.04 12.04 01.05 02.05 03.05 04.05 05.05 06.05 07.05 08.05 09.05 10.05 11.05 12.05 01.06 02.06 03.06 04.06 05.06 06.06 07.06 08.06 09.06 10.06 11.06 12.06 01.07 02.07 03.07 04.07 05.07 10.07 11.07 12.07 06.08