Brown Skin Lady.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Car Wash
Laundry
Swiffer Mopped Hardwood Floors
Shaved head
Fresh and crisp white kicks
Justin Bua posters hanging in your hallways
I trust my friends. Really, I wouldn't want to be your friend if you weren't reliable. However, the level of trust varies from homie to homie. In certain aspects, I trust some of you more than others. For example, the person I would trust most to:
Borrow my car for a day without crashing it: Dave.
Babysit my kids if I actually had kids (if only because he once told me to take my niece to McDonalds over Burger King): Matt.
Continue this blog with cynical humor should I ever get taken down by 6 bullets: Max
Get me in the VIP at the White Lotus with no hassles: Dhaven
Make me banana-walnut pancakes and sew a book for my girl because I don't know how to do either: Connor
Write a monologue for me should I ever host my own variety show: D-Money
Watch Talib Kweli wtih me, because L.A. subculture and nightlife is better than most: Veronica
Give me sound advice to properly execute roman crunches: Baruti
Get me the hookups on rhinestones: JC
Teach me how to properly instigate: Carlos
Share a bed with me: JW
------------------------------------
Not sure how I feel when Jaime Foxx talked about black empowerment as Oprah raised her fist while nobody else responded -- Awkward or Awesome?
andycat stayed in the red at 2:24 PM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Dear Max,
I think your a nice guy. I do. Women love your sensitive side. Fellas dig your sarcastic humor. Including myself. I enjoy making you dinner. I think it's quite endearing that you didn't know how to light the BBQ when we first moved in together.
I thought the Karamo Pic was hilarious and you can keep making gay reference all you want but after sexual prefrence joke #233 -- who really gives a shit anymore?
I realize you care for me as a friend...always knocking on my bedroom door to see what I'm up to. And I'm sorry if the iPod has taken away some of our roommate bonding time, but it's a fun toy...and just like all toys I've ever owned I'll probably get sick of it and I'll come running back to you.
I even thought parts of your rebuttal to my top 10 list were creative...
Except for #1. I'm guessing you cut and pasted some french, russian, italian, and chinese words into the text box, but somehow blogger could not convert the language in its final template.
And look what happened -- you tried to my imitate my style but all you got back was nonsense. If imiatation is the best form of flattery, please don't flatter me.
These are all moot points, however. I still think you are a good man...and just like you texted me this morning, it's all love, dawg.
Your roommate, your friend, your personal chef,
Andy
andycat stayed in the red at 2:02 PM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Wow. The naked pictures of Paris Hilton must have really touched a nerve. I'm sorry they weren't of Karamo but I assumed you would be interested in seeing fairly hot naked girls getting down with each other. Damn, I must have mixed up your sexual preferences. I'd like to just call it a night and get some sleep, but there are some fundamental inconsistencies with your wanna-be LL Cool J countdown and reality. Let me address them for you son:
10. Actually, I wrote my first blog on my own website over 3 years ago; but if you were referring to your blog, the first one was Saturday, thereby equaling 3 days ago.
9. You are absolutely correct - you have paid your dues for 2 years and I have respect for you in that sense. Check this out though - you had 40 hits before I blogged about Paris; 3 hours later you have 76 hits. Do the math and realize that I just doubled your daily hit total in 3 hours.
8. Yes you sure do have more flavors than a woman's douche.. I don't know if I'd be proud of licking that many douches to get flavor and going forward - I wish you wouldn't share with us how many women's douche's you have licked.
7. Does Rosalie know about the blog? Do I 'wine and dine' married women?
6. My words are not intended to phase you. Naked pictures of Paris Hilton are meant for the viewing pleasure of most men who read this blog. I am very frightened by the thought of you not enjoying the images.
5. Hmmmm, ok.
4. Refer to Mic Check 1.
3. Let me break this down in math terms for you Mr. Teacher:
A = I google for Karamo.
B = I google for hot males.
I am very very scared for the fact that you are saying that Karamo is a "hot male". Please do us all a favor and keep yourself in the closet.
2. Actually, each time I have blogged so far you have been in your bed cuddling with your IPOD.
1. French - prendre ce blog et le pousse en haut votre âne
Italian - portare questo blog e spingerlo su suo come
Russian - ???????? ???? blog, ? ??????? ??? ???? ???????
Chinese - ?? blog ???????????
What were you saying about your Vietnamesse language skills?
Anonymous stayed in the red at 8:06 PM
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4,
3, 2, 1 reasons why your skills will never be this raw.
In this blog game you're hopeless, here's the top ten:
10. Very simple and plain, it's petty crime dawg.
Two days ago you wrote your first blog.
9. Almost two years now, I've paid my dues.
The people are shouting "ACAT!"
Your clown feet will never fill my shoes.
8. I got more flavors than a woman's douche.
You are one dimensional. Why don't you open your own shit talking business,
And while you're at it, let the readers know what your all-time record in Madden is.
(Nevermind, let me do it. Andre 27-20. Match 20-27.)
7. "Andy, don't tell Des about the blog." Unlike you, I don't let girls hold my dick when I pee.
6. Seriously, your words dont phase me. This ain't star trak.
5. Thrown mud at the creator of this blog. Keep talkin and you'll find yourself at the bottom of a muddy lake.
4. Callin out names, huh? There's a reason you were the last to get a guest blog invite.
Connor and I are a tough act to follow.
You're an amateur son, walk your ass to the Apollo.
3. You say I'm down with Karamo, but I ain't the one googling for his pics.
I go online, and check my hotmail.
You go online, and check for hot males.
2. While you were bloggin and talking shit, I was at your girls house.
Matter of fact, she had my eggroll and dumplings in her mouth.
1. Don't make me have to start writing in Vietnamese. Fuck it, I'm on a roll.
câp nhât thoung xuyên-- that means take this post and shove it up your bung-hole.
andycat stayed in the red at 3:34 PM
As most of you have probably already read - Paris Hilton's sidekick was hacked and her whole phone directory and photos have found their way to the web. Needless to say I was very excited at finding my love Ashlee Simpson's phone number, but more importantly, since I have already thrown mud at the creator of the blog, I figure I might as well add some smut to it and post some the photos from Paris's phone. Seriously - who takes naked pictures of themselves on their camera phone other than Mr. "me, me, me, me, me" himself??
HOT! 
Anonymous stayed in the red at 3:19 PM
Monday, February 21, 2005
I've always liked the IPOD.
I think Steve Jobs has done a wonderful job in creating the IPOD and in turn has brought Apple back to life. I've always liked Apple stock, have owned Apple calls, and have watched the stock rocket from $20 a year ago to over $90 last week. I went to NYC in mid December, saw Dave and Connor sport their IPODs, and thought it was really cool. I mean, after all, Dave and Connor live in NYC and have to walk or train everywhere they go and therefore it is very practical for them to have their IPODs.
Recently Andramo purchased an IPOD and I am still wondering if the Best Buy clerks super-glued the device to his bung-hole because the device has not left his side for 2 straight weeks. Everywhere we go, he reaches up his ass and pulls out the IPOD. I walk into his room - he is laying in bed caressing the IPOD; I go to the living room - the IPOD is hooked into the stereo system (it has taken over our TV); We clean the house - he has to have it jamming full blast; We run 15 minutes late everywhere we go because he has to download the latest songs onto the POS I mean IPOD before he can leave the house; We go study at Borders and he sits there listening to the IPOD instead of doing his homework. I have not driven my car since Best Buy shoved the IPOD up his ass because he also had Best Buy install the I-Trip package in his Envoy. IPOD, IPOD, IPOD.. I'm so f*cking sick of everything revolving around the IPOD. Congratulations Andramo - you have single handedly made me hate a company and their lifeline product.
Anonymous stayed in the red at 5:57 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2005
4 years since I have known Andy Doan.
2 years since the blog has existed.
1.5 years since guest bloggers have been allowed.
6 months since Andre has been my roommate.
0 guest blog invites sent to match.
I’m not mad at him though. He is a good roommate. He has cooked countless dinners for me and today brought me a huevos rancheros breakfast. On Superbowl Sunday, he BBQ’d a ridiculous meal for myself and 3 girls I had over. He is a nice guy… but one concern as of late.
I don’t know what the homies did to the Andramo since the 2004 homie roadtrip but let me take you down the yellow brick road:
Pre and post homie road trip – (pre)“I can’t wait to meet all the hot latin girls that await me in S. America/(post) they are the hottest girls I have ever seen.” Hollywood and Old Town Pasadena were the only words out of his mouth.
Mid January – (Out of no where) “I hate girls. I don’t wanna think about them any more.” Andre would get angry at the first mention of girls out of my mouth.
Late January – “I am done with girls, I am more into Karamo and Willy (Real World Philly), and Verne Troyer (Mini-Me; Surreal Life). Andre cheered up a bit, but only when he was watching Karamo on the Real World. I was starting to get worried, but really thought something was wrong when he came home from the bar one night and showed me this snap:
Early February – “I’m into a Mexican girl who has a man.” Andre starts going out on romantic dates with a hot Mexican mija. This was a little relief.
One week later – “I hate girls. Don’t talk to me about them.”
Mid February – “I am going out with a short Filipino with dawgs for V-Day.” I finally thought he was coming around.
2 days later – “I hate girls.” Damn!
Yesterday – “I’m going out tonight with some 15 year old pasty white girls with whom I will have a threesome.”
I don't know what to expect next. Can any of the homies who accompanied Andre on the homie road trip please explain to me what has gotten into him? What happened to this Andre of the good ol' days:
Anonymous stayed in the red at 3:35 PM
Friday, February 18, 2005
Lists. Who don't like lists?
Top 5 best toy I've ever received/ bought.
5) Nintendo Entertainment System -- I think we'll all agree on this one. Hours of entertainment between the ages of 8-14. Mom, can I pleeeassssse go to Bret's house? He just got Metroid!
4) 1996 Pioneer IMPP 12" Subwoofer -- Rollin through the Claremont High Parking lot in my 92 Celica getting looks as the Alkaholiks bumped through the speakers. I get drunk and stumble to the phone/ and conjure up a b*tch I wanna bone. Back in '96 the Likwit Crew had this hungry gruffy voiced MC who called himself Xzibit.
3) Hewlett-Packard 2400 Series Pentium 2 PC -- The first Personal Computer I ever owned was a Christmas Present from pops back in 1997, my freshman year in college. What the hell's an MP3??? I remember going to Santa Rosa, hooking up to the ethernet, and downloading in T1 bliss. First mp3 ever downloaded off scour.net, AZ -- Sugar Hill
2) HP 4x CD Writer -- 1998. This thing cost $500 at the time and well worth it. Went to morningglory music and bought In My Lifetime Vol. 1, Jay-Z's follow up to the certifiable classic Reasonable doubt. Burned that ish, returned it, and got my money back. It would take 90 minutes to make a duplicate CD. Hours upon hours of burning fun!
1) IPOD -- I've been slutting this thing around for the past two weeks. I heart my IPOD.
As a proud member of the iPod nation, I have figured how to make a "smart playlist" which identifies my most played selections. I have about 1000 songs loaded into the iPod but really only listen to a handful of songs. Here's the top 10:
1) Stevie Wonder -- I Wish. Play Count 12.
2) Stevie Wonder -- Master Blaster. Playcount 11.
3) Groove Theory -- Tell Me. Playcount 7.
4) Lauryn Hill -- Lost One. Playcount 7.
5) The Roots -- Wa(ok) Roll Call. Playcount 5.
6) Stevie Wonder -- Uptight. Playcount 5
7) Stevie Wonder -- Do I do. Playcount 5
8) Stevie Wonder -- Overjoyed. Playcount 4.
9) Gangstarr -- Lovesick. Playcount 3.
10) Jay-Z -- A Million and One Questions. Playcount 3.
Stevie, yo. He's one funky technician.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:53 AM
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Video Game Cliches.
Women fighting masters usually dress like strippers.
Eating 'shrooms makes you diesel.
You can carry an uzi, a tech n9ne, a chainsaw, and a knife all at the same time.
The coach is never thinking properly when he goes for it on 4th and 18.
Gorillas make good surfers.
And you thought g-mail was fresh?
Google Maps.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:29 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Time to be real.
Are you ready?
ANDYDOAN1: did you ditch work again?
karpie00: :-!
karpie00: umm..no...
ANDYDOAN1: i wont tell
karpie00: i'm shameless
karpie00: i do really think tho that next year i need to try something new
karpie00: other than teaching
ANDYDOAN1: totally understand
ANDYDOAN1: i mean, i got laid off. and i'm happy about it
karpie00: yeah
karpie00: i'm kinda jealous of you
And I'm jealous of those who look forward to their jobs.
Not that I dreaded teaching. Nor did I wake up with mad anticipation to see my students. More like a work purgatory of sorts.
Although purgatory according to dictionary.com states:
n 1: a temporary condition of torment or suffering; "a purgatory of drug abuse"
Temporary being the keyword here.
I had a nice conversation with my father last week. I told him I got laid off. And what he said to me had to be the most sincere thing to have ever come out of his mouth:
It's okay. I'm here for you.
He then asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was anxious. He asked me what I was anxious about. I broke it down:
1)Mom
2)Work
3)School
4)Money
5)Girls
He then proceeded to break it down even further:
1) Don't worry about mom, there's nothing you can do. She's happy to see that your in school.
2) Hey, if you don't like teaching, you can always find someting else. (Shocker! I have asian parents, if you know what I mean.)
3) Your priority right now should be to finish school. Work hard for these next 8 months and you'll have a masters degree. That's really good, to have one of those.
4) Go to the unemployment office. Work the system.
5) Your worried about girls? Why? Because you're a teacher and teacher's don't make any money? I'll tell you what -- if a girl truly loves you, she'll love you no matter how much make. You shouldn't be with her if she doesn't love you. And find a girl with a job too.
My dad's English makes me laugh. He's very proficient, his English isn't broken whatsoever. He speaks in simple sentences and uses contractions accordingly:
Andy, why aren't you working out and eating. You're too skinny.
But then once in a while he'll throw in something that makes me go...?como?:
Your mother's demeanor is very meticulous in nature.
He reads the WSJ.
He's very up to date on politics.
His favorite movie is Terminator 2.
Interesting man. I love him.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:16 PM
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Bad news, yo. Blind date not happening. Homegirl had plans with some co-workers.
So, I'm bringing L off the bench and going out with her tomorrow.
Uh, acat, check this out. How come you never make a move on L. Think she likes you.
Cuz that ain't the way I roll. Sometimes a brother gotta do what a brother gotta do.
-------------------------------------------------
Been eatin a whole lotta sammiches.
Grilled Cheese Sammiches.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:42 PM
Friday, February 11, 2005
I had tapas with V last nite. You know my classmate... brown girl with a man.
Cute face, gotta man.
We were talking about her man, and how they're on the rocks (he lives in the bay, she lives in LA). She has a crush on this other guy she had met in vegas. She kinda feels guilty...BLAHBLAHBLAH.
And I just lent my friendly ear to her dilemma.
I realized at dinner yesterday night, that I'm not attracted to her. And it's quite possible she might not be attracted to me.
Regardless, she still is a super-cool girl and we have a lot in common especially regarding issues facing Asian Americans as well as the state of public education.
At dinner...she showed me a snap of her roommate. And the convo went something like this:
This is a picture of my roommate and I.
Whoa...does she have a boyfriend?
No, and she needs a valentines date.
Serious??? I'm single.
Do you like big-breasted women?
Uhhh...I'm not against it.
Ok, cuz she's top-heavy.
How tall is she?
5'2.
What are we waiting for? Hook it up!
Max brought up a good point though. She could be a short and stacked (which would be hot.) She could also be short, stacked, but also round (aka pleasantly plump...not tite.)
Whatever...no harm, no foul.
At the very least, it'll make a good blog.
Don't ever say I don't care about you guys. My self-deprecation makes you all laugh.
Feliz Viernes!
andycat stayed in the red at 8:21 AM
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Can't really say I know much if anything about the Chemical Brothers except:
1. They remixed Method Man's Bring the Pain
2. I'm unemployed so I get to do weird things at 10AM. Like take a spin class at LA Fitness which I did this morning. After the warm up set, we turned the resistance dial up to 10, and the instructor yells out "GO!"
And what comes thumping out of the aerobic room speakers (which for some inexplicable reason always sounds better then most dance floor speakers)?
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE BLOCK ROCKIN BEATS!
Admit it, you like that song! Especially when you're pedalling furiously next to a really fit lycra wearing trophy wife mom.
Anyways, like I said, I don't know much about the Chemical Brothers. But I like weird British Electronica.
And I also will buy any product with a giant blue fist coming out of a chimney.
I like fists.
andycat stayed in the red at 3:48 PM
Monday, February 07, 2005
signs
its monday...
got no job...
got nuttin to do...
i'm gonna get you
Mark my words: Party Jam of the Year:
Snoop Dogg -- Signs.
I think my infatuation with the neptunes is fairly unhealthy. Love Pharell, but c'mon now, we all know Chad Hugo is the one who makes the Star Trakkers run the table in the production battlefield. Chad Hugo, Yao Ming, Dennis "D-Money" Ng, Kim Ng, andycat...
ASIANS ON THE RISE, FOOL!.
When Primo threw down the water drop licks on Jeru's -- Come Clean, I thought that was off the thrid floor wilshire condo highrise.
But the Neptunes took it one step further on Drop it Like It's Hott, not even using an SP-1200. I mean, can you imagine how the convo went between Chad and Pharell when they made that beat?
Pharell: Umm, I think our electronica space beats are are just too, I don't know...'02.
Chad: I got this fool! Let's click our damn tongues and shit!
Pharell: Yeah, that'd be hotttttt!
Anyway, it's February. Signs hasn't been released as a single yet. But when this is the only song you hear on the radio in April, go back to the 2/05 February andycat archive and holla at your boy.
Snoop w/ JT on the hook. Neptunes lacing the track. Guest appearance by friggin Charlie Wilson.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiet, commercial hip-hop at its finest.
andycat stayed in the red at 6:41 AM
Friday, February 04, 2005
me, me, me, me, me, me
I haven't downloaded music in a year as Kazaa was the most problematic P2P file sharing program in the history of P2P.
But Limewire is the real deal holyfield. No pop-ups. No BS. Tracks downloaded so far:
Nelly -- Dilemma from 2003. Yeah I like, it. What? You know, that one song with Kelly from Destiny's child. And while we all know Beyonce is fuego, quitely, we think Kelly is the cuter one. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you do.
Special Ed -- Mission. Classic art of story telling rhymes about Ed going on mission to "avenge for the rhymes you stole." I mean, when Ed kicks the joint off with "this is a mission, not a small time thing", that line gets me UP. It also takes me back to '91. And speaking of '91, get me my dot matrix printer with some janky printshop software so I can make a bannner of that line. Then hang it next to Max's framed Vince Lombardi "What it takes to win speech" and we'd have a wall of inspiration. Man, even heads have slept on the illest crooklyn dodger.
Snoop Dogg -- Still a "G" Thang. Remember Snoop's No Limit days? I recall the video had Master P muggin in the background as Snoop rhymed about, Top Dollar with the Gold Flea Collar over a grimy west coast g-funk beat. Ill.
Oh, and from yesterdays post when I mentioned stacked breezy's...
you got stacks like the International House of Pancakes....
Wait, February 4th???? Today is my 25 1/2 birthday!
Feliz Viernes.
andycat stayed in the red at 6:14 AM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Remember back in high school, it would be passing period, and you'd see this stacked breezy who loved to give hugs. And she would see you and be like, "Andy! I love you! You're so cute! Can I hug you?"
And you'd get all shook with excitement. Yes! Please!
And when she hugged you, it was like copping a free feel.
Everytime, I hugged a girl between the age of 14-16, all I thought about were breasts.
But sometime after 17, that all changed, and hugs became just a friendly mutual greeting with both women and fellas alike.
I hug women now and don't think anything of it. (If anybody's getting a free feel nowadays, its the girl. I mean, have you seen my guns?)
Except yesterday night, when I saw R and gave her a hug. I think she was wearing a really padded bra, because when she hugged me, I instantly felt the cushioning of her supple friends.
It kinda made me hot.
andycat stayed in the red at 6:02 AM
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
"All your shit talking has upset me so much that I doubled on my nightly dose of sleeping pills, so that I can sleep tonight. I do not have to hear your voice as I try to fall asleep." -- Max, my loving roommate who thinks I enter cheat codes from eagamereg.com when I show him how the game of Madden '05 is played; Vince-Lombardi-esque.
On a brighter note, I met a girl, V, who's in my tech class.
She has a cute face, fun personality, she's brown, and she real down to earth.
One problem -- when I picked her up today to go carpool to class...she was hungry. And she wanted comfort food.
Serious? Chicken McNuggets?
People need to understand that chicken mcnuggets do not help in the beauty department!
But still, such a cute face.
andycat stayed in the red at 8:48 PM
ESPN
Cicely
Daily Nexus
Sneak Move
Dodger Blues
LA Times
Food Network
Growth
AIM: ANDYDOAN1
E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com
Decay
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