Brown Skin Lady


Brown Skin Lady. Saturday, January 29, 2005 Conquest #9 of ?????? Met her in Hawaii when I landed at the airport in Honolulu at 4:00 in the afternoon. We shared a cab together to UH -- Manoa. Got to know her, and found out she went to UCSB. Lived on Sabado. It was a Friday night. Moved all our belongings into the dorms. Went to the local market. Bought a handle of Captain and a six-pack of coke. Drank it. Funny how the tongue is quicker when you got a little liquor up in ya. Flirted, danced. Shared a cab home from the club. 12 hours later, we were making out in the waters of Waikiki. And that was that.... ...until we met up again in SB. Conquest #9 was an aggressive little thang. HOT! andycat stayed in the red at 10:15 PM Wednesday, January 26, 2005 1,2. Check 1,2,1,2. Andre bout to spit a lil blog for you. Serious? 17 Mic Checks and not one comment on how creative that last post was? Even with the Poseidon reference? Hmmm.... Communication amongst homies: Pony express? Nah, too 19th century. Telegram? Too Great Gatsby-ish. Rotary Phone? Can't press one for more information. Mass Mail? Eight people read this blog. Not 80,000. AIM? Melrose Place. 90210. Tupac. It's gettin harder in the streets to survive, in nintey-five. andycat.blogspot.com mic check forum? Yes! After all, bloggin is the hottest new tech trend, even though I'm rapidly approaching the two-year anniversary. (Then again, acat has always been one step ahead in the game.) ----------------------------------------------------------- Yeah, I salted Max's game. Felt so bad about it, I made him an italian sausage penne dinner with roasted garlic marinara. And what do I get in return? Sarcastic comments in the forum. Thought I was the nice one in this group. Whatever, I'm going to P.F. Kang's with Rosalie tonight. andycat stayed in the red at 10:15 PM Sunday, January 23, 2005 So if men think with their penises, do women think with their vaginas? I mean, I'm not a girl or anything...but I have listened to their conversations. Hell yes, yall think with your boxes. Women have the ability to exert their awesome sexual prowess, and sometimes men forget to assert their independence. Men think with their penises. Simple. We want sex, we will sacrifice anything to get it. If their is a desireable women across a lake and a kickboard is the only means of transportation, we will don the swimcap, speedo, goggles, shave our legs, call upon the sea god Poseidon for safety should we encounter a sea monster, and frog-kick our way to the other side. The vagina mentality is different -- that is, they expect men to tolerate anything they dish out by dangling the promise of sex in front of us. So they find it perfectly acceptable to be inconsistent with their attitudes, bitchy one moment, darlings the next. Men! Standup! Refuse to tolerate any type of sexual blackmail or manipulation. (I'm just jealous, cuz all my boys are gettin ass, and I'm not.) andycat stayed in the red at 8:39 PM Friday, January 21, 2005 Sweet romantic A had a girlfriend when he was 18. T was a pretty girl, pleasantly plump, and also the second girl he had made love to. Innoncently struck by her charisma, style, and wit, he fell in love from the moment they met on the sixth floor of the dormitory over looking the lagoon. Some things A did for T while they dated: Made sweet, sweet love. Made a 500 mile drive from Los Angeles to the Bay to visit her over Christmas Break and New Years. Made reservations at the Stinkin Rose for Valentine's Day and had four long stem roses waiting at the table when they arrived (as they had been dating for four months). On T's 19th birthday, A bought T a terry cloth robe with her initials sewed in over the left breast. He presented the robe to her in the hotel room he reserved in Anaheim the same morning they arrived at Disneyland. While T spent the summer in the Philippines, A took a tour of Asia and made sure to visit her in Manila as one of his destination's was the Funny Little Island RePublic. And what did A get in return? NO, YOU CAN'T HANG OUT WITH YOUR BOYS. NO, 10 IS TOO LATE. YOU HAVE TO BE HERE AT 9:30. NO, YOU CAN'T GO UNLESS I'M THERE. NO, I AIN'T DOING SHIT FOR YOU. And being a vulnerable innoncent 18 year old , A unwillingly relented to T's demands without saying a word in protest. Needless to say, A eventually stood tall and told T he had had enough. 6 years later, A sends girls home in cabs the very moment they display symptoms of crazy irrational girl syndrome. andycat stayed in the red at 5:57 AM Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Good Vibes. No Attitude. All Love. Captions! Please! andycat stayed in the red at 8:35 PM Friday, January 14, 2005 Quotacious Quotes: Part 4 of...yes definitely 5.) FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! One week ago, I was on the beaches of Rio De Janeiro -- Basking in the sun at Ipanema. Eating cheese on a stick. And checking out breasts. Speaking of breasts, that's a great transition into: Quotacious Quotes: Girls, Girls Girls -- Latin American Women, etc. "I don't like this sand, its too rough." -- Connor, as we were about to park ourselves on the beach in between a group of 8 HOT Argentinians on the left and 5 REEEEE-diculous Uruguayans on the right. We ended up sitting next to dudes in speedos.) "We're staying with 8 dudes right now. There's a high probability that one of us is gay." -- Me, on possible sexual orientation of the squad. "I'm guessing it's Connor." -- Matt. "Wasn't that the hooker from last night?" -- Josh, at breakfast the morning after new year's eve when hooker were running amok. "Sucky - Sucky. Fucky - Fucky?" -- Hooker's sales pitch. "I think your friend likes my friend." -- Matt's Brazilian breeezy's on my fondness for her friend. "I don't think he likes her likes her." -- Matt, referencing the wonder years. "I don't need a girl Josh size. I need a girl Al SIZE!" -- Big Al. "Encantado de concerlo" -- Phrase I picked up from my Spanish-English dictionary for tourist and used on every single spanish speaking breezy i met. "Look at her legs..." -- Josh, on bronzed legs. "I amazed at their breasts." -- Josh, on the genetics of brazilianas. "We are already couriers for your girl!" -- Connor, after Veronica asked him to have Carlos call her. From Brazil. "Did you see the girl with 1/2 a rose on one breast and 1/2 a rose on the other breast. And when both breasts were pushed together it became 1 rose?" -- Matt, after we went to the prostitute infested discoteca 'help'. "So if you titty-fucked, you'd be the stem!" --Brian "5:20? I'm gonna be late for my prostitutes appointment." -- Moat, after a prostitute gave him her information. "Fabiani thinks Carlos looks like Maroon 5" -- Matt, on the Carlos's resemblance to American Pop Singer. "Please dance for 4 hours, drink 10 beers, and pee 5 times..." -- Brian, on what he likes his girl to do before going down on her. "...and front wipe." -- Connor, further discussing hygenic female activities. "Should I go to 'help' and pick up some friends?" -- Brian, on the smut-bar aka help. "She has nice boobs." -- Connor, on a certain south american girl with nice breasts. "Reminds me of Ann." -- Me, paying compliments to my ex-girl. (hope she reads this.) no lies in '05, yo. "Hot, and she likes me. I don't ask for much." -- Connor, on what he looks for in a girl. "Andre was about to come through then someone salted his game." -- Carlos, after Connor grabbed a brazilianas ass and pretended like I was the one who did it. She later gave me a dirty look, called me an asshole, and then bounced. "Would you like some limes with your salt?" -- Dave to Connor, after my game was salted. "What kind of homie does that?" -- Dave, discussing Connor's dirtbag antics after he got a cheap feel on a breezy and had the nerve to blame it on me. "I'm about to get my tat removed tomorrow." -- Me, obviously joking, after salted game. "Ahhhh dude. That's fucked up man. That's fucked up. That ain't cool." -- Connor, beginning temper tantrum '05. "Andre, laying down the bunt." -- Connor, after I made out with a fat brazilian girl to get on base in order to score with another brazilian girl "Andy needs wing." -- Connor, talking to Brian after I wanted to talk to fly brazilian girl and her friend. "That's how Brazilians do it." -- Brazilian girl, after I made out with her and she wouldn't let me take it further. "That's not how Americans do it!" -- Me. "I'm so glad he took fragglerock off my hands." -- Brian, after he was spittin at a fragglerock look-alike breezy and some dude stepped in. "I'm a dancer...and a crooner." -- Josh, after Brazilian girl asked him what his profession was. "I don't want to dance w/ you because your friends to weird things behind me." -- Dave's brazilian breezy, on our zany antics. "I need to get home to Kelly with the Brazilian still fresh in my mind." -- Connor, after refusing to get down with the hottest girl in the club. "She's not even your girl, just goes to show how much you like her." -- Me, on Connor and Kelly. "Or I'm just really dumb." -- Connor. "You already spent $4, what's another 5?" -- Carlos, on the souvenir I bought Ann. "Shit...you'd probably give her something!." -- Connor, on the consequences of me getting with a prostitute. "I have good taste in ass." -- Matt, making somewhat of a quasi-homosexual reference. "You have to take that quote into context, and look where we're at." -- Matt, explaining his quasi-homosexual quotacious quote. Feliz Viernes, y'all. andycat stayed in the red at 6:05 AM Thursday, January 13, 2005 Quotacious Quotes Part 3 of....I'm thinking 5 Still in denial that my vacation is over. Still jet laggin. Still got a phlegm-y cough. Still reminiscing about Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smallz. Stillmatic. Students still don't understand y = mx + b. And I still got it made. Quotacious Quotes: Alcohol (That is, things said while inhibitions were low. "So you guys got a statue of George Washinghington to?" -- Josh, to the uruguayan girls on the statue of artigas that bore a remarkably eerie resemblance to GW. Thanks to the kid for that one. "Let's take the motos to the club." -- Carlos, on mode of transportation to the hot spot. "I don't think that's a good idea, we've been drinking." -- Josh "Then let's drink until it's a good idea." -- Carlos "Hi Mom! I wasn't drunk moto-ing last night." -- Matt, on how the conversation with his mother would go. We definitely drunk moto-ed. "I slept 1 hour. So I feel 1% better." -- Carlos, on his hangover. "Did you fight in Vietnam." -- Ignorant Brazilian breezy's after I told them my ethic background. They loved me though. "You eat rice with sticks!" -- First thing out of ignorant Uruguayan breezy after seeing my slanted eyes." "Tu eres una casa bonita." -- Ignorant Vietnamese-American fella that thinks his espanol es mejor cuando he is drunk. "Fuckin ALF over here." -- Dave, referencing the ill 80's sitcom about an Alien Life Form that ate cats, when the brazilianas had never seen an asian. "They LOVED the ACAT." -- Dave, on brazilian women's fondness of me. "How many sunrises have I seen in the past 14 days? 7?" -- Josh, on our conception of time during the fortnight. "You know what I love about this place? BROWN GIRLS!" -- Me, on the the girls at Club Privilege at Buzios. "Serious, you don't have to deal with slutty pretentious white girls." -- Carlos "You'll be fine...swim off the other pier and jump off that one!" -- Connor and Josh after I jumped off a seven foot pier head-first into two feet of water and was bleeding from my face. "Andre, what's up with you and 6:30?" -- Connor, after I jumped off the pier. "Polar bear club, Uruguay. Polar bear club, Rio. Polar bear club, Buzios." -- Me, on my 6:30 AM swims in different parts of South America. "Ready...Go! Me, Me, Me, Me, Me." -- Carlos, doing his best Connor after Connor through his temper tantrum. "Not now...later." -- Connor, after Carlos asked him when he would stop being mad. "You guys look like donkeys." -- Matt, on Josh and Connor's paddleball skills. Thanks to the kid, for some of those quotes. Holy crap, I still got hella quotes. I just said hella. I need pix to spice up this blog. andycat stayed in the red at 6:09 AM Wednesday, January 12, 2005 Quotacious Quotes: Part 2 of ??????????????? Below are two lines that perfectly encompass how us men in our mid twenties feel about women. "Nuttin make a man feel better than a woman." -- Method Man On one hand, she's our confidante, our lover, the yin to our yang, and our best friend. "Girls love the jim cuz it causes crazy friction, When it goes up in, and fluctuates the diction." -- Q-Tip On the other hand, males are the hunter courting the female species with raw, savage, animal-like instincts. We are vultures. So here we go with the -- Quotacious Quotes: Girls, Girls, Girls -- V and White Girl Edition "She was in South America, and one thing led to another." -- Carlos, on the revelation of that Verns and himself have been somewhat of an item. "Huh, that's funny...she was just over at my place, and one thing led to another." -- Me, being the funny guy that I am. "No lies in '05!" -- Dave, after the revelation. I nominate this for quotacious quote of homie roadtrip -- south america edition. "All you have to say is, Andy, I don't want it on the blog." -- Dave, on undisclosed quote. "I don't care, I'm a grown ass man." -- Carlos, on having a quotacious quote published. "Andy, I don't want it on the blog." -- Carlos, undisclosed quote. Also nominated for quotacious quote of homie roadtrip -- south america edition. "It is now hunting season!" -- Connor, on the forthcoming onslaught of jokes about to be aimed at Carlos after the revelation. We had been giving Connor shit for him and white girl. "We're having an all-white loft party." -- Connor, on the dress code for the bay area social gathering over memorial day weekend. "Connor can bring his white girl." -- Carlos, on what to 'wear' at the above party. "I'll stay in Clayton, so you'll have a place to stay with your girl." -- Dave, on where Carlos and Verns could stay after the loft party. Josh has an extra room at his new place in the bay. "I'll be at white girls bonin, so you'll have a place to stay with your girl." -- Connor, on the where Carlos and Verns could stay. "I'll reconcile with homegirl out in Oakland, so you'll have a place to stay." -- Me, on where Carlos and Verns could stay. Homegirl out in Oakland hates me. I can't imagine why. "Andy will find a garage in fishermans wharf, so you'll have a place to stay." -- Connor, on where Carlos and Verns could stay. He was referencing that one time I got down and dirty in a garage. Not one of my prouder moments, but a good story nonetheless. "At least I date my own race." -- Carlos, poppin shit to Connor regarding interracial dating. "I don't have to go through customs to see my girl." -- Connor, poppin shit to Carlos regarding intercontinental dating. "Dear white girl...I miss you..I've been thinking about you." -- Carlos, sarcastically quoting what he perceived Connor to be jotting down in his journal. Ah, yeah...we all love the dry c-bass humor. "Carlos is really good at making fun of Connor. -- Max, after I came home and told him about all the shit talking. "I'm kind of scared of the quotacious quotes -- girls, girls, girls." -- ohhhhhhyoubetcha, anxiously awaiting what would be said in today's post. "Strange how I feel a certain bond with white girl even though I've never met her." -- ohhhhhhhyoubetcha, in an AIM conversation last night. "It's white to meet you." -- Matt, upon meeting Connor's white girl. "My son warned me you were white. Don't worry so am I." -- Papa J, on meeting his son's breezy. "He sewed her a book." -- Dave, on Connor's romanticism. "He had the thread and needle. He cut down the tree and made the paper!" -- Dave, further commenting on Connor's romanticism. "She's like my best friend." -- Carlos, on Veronica. Collectively now -- awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. andycat stayed in the red at 5:34 AM Tuesday, January 11, 2005 Quotacious Quotes, Part 1 of ?????? My time spent in Brazil and Uruguay offered a truly incredible way to end 2004. I feel so fortunate to have such amazing and character-driven friends with whom to share the experiences and memories. How many people outside my own group of friends can say they spent two weeks traveling with 8 of their closest homies? It's amazing how we did it, how we all met up in a 3 bedroom house in Uruguay, and how we bonded with no disagreements and only one temper tantrum. Just goes to show you how down-to-earth and low key my boys are. When a groups of 8 men spend two weeks living, eating, and sharing with each other topics of conversation usually fall within one of two categories: Absolute nonsense. Girls, girls, girls. Due to the sheer volume of quotes I have documented from Home Roadtrip 2004/05 -- South America, I have decided to break down quotacious quotes into the aformentioned categories. And now, the long-awaited, highly anticipated, somewhat procastinated Quotacious Quotes: Absolute Nonsense: "You got that Andy?" -- Everybody, after a quotacious quote was said. "We should put Andy's Kankle on a speak and just slice that off." -- Brian, after eating at the churrascaria. My leg was black and blue from soccer practice before I had left. "I just spilled beer on myself. I just rubbed it in to my skin." -- Matt, on how he reacts to spilled beverages. "I am one good looking Vietnamese Dude." -- Me, on my own personal aesthetics. "Play w/ my udder." -- Me, during the 30-second writing game, and the topic was 'cow'. "I'm stoked on these hikers." -- Connor, upon his purchase of the flip-flop/ hiker hybrid havaianas. "Thunder...lightning...Biggie Smalls." -- Josh, when the writing topic was 'Black Cock'. "President Lincoln? Cherry Tree!" -- Matt, on how he hated it when kids would answer a question with a stupid answer. "Are you not on with Honest Abe?" -- Josh, after showing a photo of him at the lincoln memorial. "I'm sitting here in my underwear. I'm not ready to motor at all." -- Connor, on motivating to get the day started. "I need a beer to get rid of this headache." -- Brian. "Pounded 3 red bull vodkas, I felt alrite." -- Carlos, on his cure for feeling like shit. "Strange how I was the voice of reason on that one." -- Matt, after I tried to score some illegal paraphanelia. "No entiendo. Carlos, come here. Help." -- Everybody, on what happens when only one guy can speak spanish. Gotta go to work, I'll post more when time permits. andycat stayed in the red at 6:28 AM Sunday, January 09, 2005 ANDYDOAN1: dave was talking about how he thought ----- was "leading the race" M9 Tupac: dam, they haven't known each other for that long ANDYDOAN1: long enough for him not too make out with the hottest girl in the club M9 Tupac: serio M9 Tupac: i h8 that fool now ANDYDOAN1: he's a dirtbag M9 Tupac: he is a prick ANDYDOAN1: saltin my game M9 Tupac: serious M9 Tupac: grabbin asses and blaming you ANDYDOAN1: who does this M9 Tupac: 6th grade shit M9 Tupac: he's married, wanted to get a cheap dirtbag feel on an ass, and blamed you w/ no consideration for your game and your needs to get with fat girls M9 Tupac: that's unexcusable ANDYDOAN1: unacceptable M9 Tupac: i think you should have the opposite of an appreciation post M9 Tupac: the anti-appreciation post for ----- ANDYDOAN1: done M9 Tupac: and it should start with a few excerpts from this convo ANDYDOAN1: that fool would throw a tantrum M9 Tupac: haha ANDYDOAN1: I'm gonna edit out the name, just so he doesn't throw a tantrum ed note: just joking man, we love you. andycat stayed in the red at 1:33 PM Ya boy is back! Spend 15 hours on a plane, shit gets out of wack. Been poppin all sorts of pills to get back on track. tylenol. tylenol pm. tylenol am. damn, might as well run down to save-ons and get my tylenol kids on. lets see here...gotta warm up for quotacious quotes from homie roadtrip 2004/05, so I'm throwing the 5 disc sony changer on random and throwing out my favorite lines from the next 5 songs. I rock more beats than jesse owens ran track meets. Smack Tina Turner, giver her flashbacks of Ike. Rock you in your face, stab your brain with your nose bone. OMG, that line makes me shit myself. Little brown hairs everywhere. I ain't a new jack, nobody gon wesley snipe me, it's less than likely. andycat stayed in the red at 7:52 AM	Exponential ESPN Cicely Daily Nexus Sneak Move Dodger Blues LA Times Food Network Growth AIM: ANDYDOAN1 E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com Decay 03.03 04.03 05.03 06.03 07.03 08.03 09.03 10.03 11.03 12.03 01.04 02.04 03.04 04.04 05.04 06.04 07.04 08.04 09.04 10.04 11.04 12.04 01.05 02.05 03.05 04.05 05.05 06.05 07.05 08.05 09.05 10.05 11.05 12.05 01.06 02.06 03.06 04.06 05.06 06.06 07.06 08.06 09.06 10.06 11.06 12.06 01.07 02.07 03.07 04.07 05.07 10.07 11.07 12.07 06.08