Brown Skin Lady.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Let f(x) = a+b
x= I'm feelin this new Usher jam. You know his song burn? Ain't it the truth?
When I'm hurting baby,
I ain't happy baby
Plus
there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn
a= Ann's Birthday is coming up and I still miss her after 6 months.
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same by myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
b= $72.48 (Cost of Usher CD and a dozen roses)
If f(burn) = a+b, then I buy the new Usher record along with a dozen roses. I write a letter telling Ann how I miss the silly times we had. I send the package as a birthday present to her. She comes running back to me. We get married, buy a two-bedroom condo out in the burbs and live happily ever after with Buster, our mini-doberman pinscher.
See..money can buy you love.
I just proved it.
andycat stayed in the red at 4:22 PM
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
It's about time I do some more appreciation posts. So if I reach into my bag of silliness...
ICY-HOT APPRECIATION POST
I don't know how the chemists did it, but they made an ointment that you rub on that, at first, is hot as balls to ease the pain. Then the ointment switches up one time and becomes cooler than a polar bear's toenails to dull the pain away. Seriously, this stuff works wonders for sore muscles. Go ahead and ask Shaq. It's the second coming, yo. Unreal. It doesn't make sense. How did they do this, I ask you? How?
Other things that don't make sense: mexican pizzas, the Real World, Penny Hardaway's career, Ma$e, Master P.
I don't really ever see myself become an alcoholic nor a narcotics abuser. (And speaking of narcotics abuse, I implore you to check out DMX in Cradle 2 the Exit Wounds, errr I mean, Romeo Must New Jack City, ummmmmmmmmm...Never Die Alone. Solid movie. Dark Man X comes gritty in this flick, droppin the illest warlike tactics onscreen and in yo grill. If you liked Juice, you'll like this one.) Pain killers on the flip side...that's more my steez.
And you know and I know, I'm nice like that.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:43 AM
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Definitely not a salesman. Cannot close the deal. Should've got the number. Oh well. Not like I would've called her. But out of principle, I should've asked for the number. Two years ago I would have. Did use the prom line though, which she thought was the cutest thing ever.
Speaking of salesman, I had a good conversation with Max on the Hike in SB. And he said how his profession is geared towards maximizing profits, making paper, all for the ca$h. He also questions why he's in this line of work, because he is not "helping" anybody.
Ironic that I'm in a "helping" profession, but I question my line of work because it's not the most lucrative. And I feel guilty because I don't have this drive to be making large amounts of cash.
Which just go to show you, it's all relative.
Feelings. Feelings. Feelings. Feelings. Too many feelings.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:11 PM
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Kobe went 36, 6, and 6 against the Kings. All after waking up at 4AM to fly to Colorado, go face-to-face with his whore of an accuser and flying back to LA, one hour before tip-off. This is what you call an incredible ability to focus combined with an athletically sound body. Unbelievable.
Unbelievable is my favorite Biggie joint. Primo's off-key production can best be described as dark and grimy...making me either want to A) Scrub myself down with coral rocks to rid of this chest acne that won't go away or B) Sport a black skully with rocks in both ears, ice around my neck, an extra-medium black t-shirt fitted with dark-blasted jeans, and white shoes. Then walk around this white trash of a town at night, hopping from dive bar to dive bar, frightening small children, and seeing how many people lock their car doors as I walk by. Get ready to die, tell God I said Hi. Not the most profound lyrics, but scary nonetheless.
I'm questioning what my forte causes caucasians to say.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:09 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Hey Andrew,
How you doing? I just thought I would check in with you and see how's it going? I hope things are going well and my good thoughts are with you :)
Fuzzy
Fuzzy is Canadian. Fuzzy is my classmate. Fuzzy is as scatter-brained as I am. Fuzzy sends me this e-mail and turns my frown upside-down. Fuzzy is my new friend from grad school. I made a new friend!
Things for me to do:
Put others at ease.
Use irony.
Accept flattery.
Flirt subtly.
Avoid indulging in self-pity.
Help a woman on and off with her coat.
Visualize.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:23 PM
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Cold. Hungry. Tired. Stressed.
No, amber is not the color of my energy.
Yes, I met Pete Rock at the Root Down.
Yes, Pete Rock dug the SoulForce shirt Connor gave me for Xmas.
No, this love hasn't taken its toll.
Yes, its getting harder to breathe.
Yes, Maroon 5 sounds like Jamiroquai.
No, I didn't buy any new CD's this week.
Yes, I ate Church's fried chicken.
No, I haven't worked out in a week.
Yes, I am fat and greasy.
No, there is no such thing as a Mexican Pizza.
No, you cannot order tamales and tacos as toppings for your Mexican Pizza.
Yes, I tried.
Yes, I found a screw in my burger at Islands.
Yes, I complained.
Yes, management apologized profusely.
Yes, they comped everything my guest and I ordered.
Yes, I ordered four 20 oz. Hefeweizen's.
Yes, I would bite into a screw again for a free meal.
No, the grey hairs haven't sprouted.
Yes, the wrinkles in my forehead are accumulating.
No, I do not intend to use Botox.
Yes, I miss my friends.
Yes, Dave spent the weekend in Indianapolis.
No, Matt's Shout Out's never make sense.
Yes, I'm wondering what Carlos and Max are doing at this very moment.
No, I haven't talked to Jenn or Cicely in a while.
Yes, Baruti's gotta shorty in the cheese state.
No, I didn't watch the Simpsons tonight upon Connor's recommendation.
No, I am not in a heightened state of awareness.
Yes, I'm searching for the Power of Now.
No, I do not read New Age/ Self-Help books.
Yes, I just lied about that last statement.
No, I am not proud of it.
Yes, I am.
Yes, the battle within is raging.
No, the stress in my shoulders will not go away.
No, I haven't asked anybody to prom.
Yes, Stanford was a disappointment.
No, I don't think Josh Childress's Fro compares to Moochie Norris's.
Yes, I'm diggin this Verbal Gunfight of a Blog.
Yes, some of you like the way my words caress your screen.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:11 PM
Friday, March 19, 2004
This conversation occured in my dream.
So what do you do?
Blonde Asian Girl: I'm in school. What do you do?
Also in school.
Blonde Asian Girl: What are you studying?
Education.
Blonde Asian Girl: Plan on being a teacher?
Something like that. I teach at a high school right now.
Blonde Asian Girl: Really?
Yeah. I need a date for prom too. You wouldn't happen to be busy in about two months, would you?
Blonde Asian Girl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I would love to go to prom!
This scenario could possibly happen in real life too. What if I ever chaperoned a high school dance, and needed a date? How awesome would that pickup line be at a bar? Could any women resist such an irresistably innocent line like "I need a date for prom."
Now I just need to find me a hot blonde asian girl.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:46 PM
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Oh man. High periods of stress. I feel a canker sore coming. Wanna make out?
Female companionship would be convenient during these times. In fact, you could be a shorty in my ill convoy. Ok, this has to stop. This feenin for a girl madness is complete and utter nonsense. Madness. I'm talkin H.M Murdock zany madness.
Speaking of which, its about time hollywood made an A-Team Movie. None of this Starsky and Hutch crap. I mean think about how awesome the cast could potentially be:
B.A. Baracus -- The Rock.
H.M Murdock -- Jim Carrey.
Face -- Brad Pitt
Hannibal -- Ed Harris.
Who wouldn't want to see the Rock and Jim Carrey on screen together? This is definitely a Jerry Bruckheimer production. I love the A-team. L.A. heads -- remember the A-Team show at Universal Studios? Which was then replaced my the Miami Vice show? You could literally lift up the A-Team Van onto two wheels. I distinctly remember that inside the A-Team Van was a phone with a cord. Now, what that cord attached to exactly, I'm not sure.
andycat stayed in the red at 12:12 AM
Monday, March 15, 2004
Yeah, I bought a rugby video game. I've also been following a lot of hockey lately as well. The LA Kings have a black guy on their team. Let me try to justify this purchase:
1) Thought I might try something different. It's kinda like sushi. Everytime you get sushi, you always get the yellowtail. But every once in a while you feel like trying something different, and opt for the octopus. That was a bad analogy. It's kinda like my fascination with really tall white girls. There exactly opposite of the small asian girls I tend to date, and thus I'm ironically attracted to these amazons. Dichotomy, yo.
2) I liked the cover. I'm guessing the guy on the cover is probably the best rugby player in the world.
3) It was $20. $21.54 with the .0825 sales tax.
4) I bought it cuz I thought it was funny. You know how Matt aka White Petey Pablo buys low-carb beer just for the novelty? Same thing.
5) I like learning about new games. If they had a cricket game, I'd try it once. I'm not even sure how the game of rugby is played. But I see on Fox Sports Net at 2AM sometimes and it looks intriguing. What I've learned about the game of rugby just from playing the video game:
There's a thing called a scrum where all the guys on both teams pack into a giant huddle and try to win the ball.
There's a line-out where you throw the ball in and the opposing team can pick up his teammate and launch him into the air to deflect the throw in.
You can kick it into "touch".
A tackle is also called a maul.
America has a rugby team, though little is known about them.
6) I don't think I'll play it again after today.
7) I think a pickup rugby game would be fun. That would be bloody entertaining. (Can I use the word "bloody" in this context?)
Definitely getting some puzzled reactions from this purchase. I was with Bret when I bought it at Best Buy and he says something along the lines of, "Wow, you bought a rugby video game. That's something you would do on a dare."
And while we're on the subject of eurotrash, Happy Ides of March.
Also, Happy One-Year Anniversary to this blog.
andycat stayed in the red at 5:04 PM
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Symptoms of anxiety and depression are part of who I am. In an effort to overcome the zany mind state, I thought enrolling in grad school would help. It has had a minimal effect. Instead, in recent weeks, I seem to be deriving satisfaction from purchasing things. Records, jeans, and EA Sports Rugby 2004 to name a few. I am content with these new belongings but the store-bought high crashes after the third listen, the second wash, and the first scrum. Working out and eating properly, once effective stress relievers, are now just part of daily routine. So a new hobby might be just the answer. I love music, right? How cool would it be to play an instrument? I want to learn to play some kind of horn.
andycat stayed in the red at 9:08 PM
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
The sun is shining in Southern California. And all the women? Well, the women have reached into the back of their closets, found their tank tops, and once again, have begun to show off their curves. The eye candy is marvelous during these first few weeks of spring. And speaking of eye candy...if you live in LA and wake up between the hours of 5AM-7AM, I implore you to adjust your television to channel 2. The weather girl, Lisa Joyner, is beautiful. I'm talking cute and bubbly, all while being extremely hot. That's a hard mix to find. Cute and hot. I would like to thank Lisa Joyner's parents for giving her the genetics to be as beautiful as she is. Gives me a reason to wake up in the morning.
I'm a sucker for girls who rock the white top and denim skirt/jeans/or shorts combo. And if you got a nice tan going on...well, I would like to thank your parents too for giving you the genetics to wear such an outfit.
Girls seem to be on the forefront of my mind.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:55 PM
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
So who really loves there job out there? Like to the point, where you're so excited for tomorrow morning that you don't want to go to sleep at night. That's excited. I wish I could be that excited for tomorrow morning. Teaching's okay. Purgatory, really. Nothing to nut all over myself about. Nothing really serious to complain about. I'm not sure where I stand with the profession, just yet. But I guess this is how most people feel when they began a new career.
I want to hang out with my friends, somewhere tropical preferably. Hawaii sounds fun. Virgin Islands possibly. Club Med. Bali. Anywhere with a balmy climate will do. You know get a tan, rock a crisp new wifebeater and some board shorts. Hang out oceanside when the sun's shining and at the bar when the moon's lit. Spark the barbeque and serve up some grilled corn. Play some dominoes, drink some coronas. Pete Rock jammin through the speakers.
Take seven ill drums, put 'em in a line
And add seven more snares to make it combine
It'll take seven more horns before I start to rhyme
Now that twenty-one beats made up at the same time.
Or Vegas will do. Anybody up for a Vegas Run conmigo, the weekend of 4/2 or 4/9?
andycat stayed in the red at 10:54 PM
Sunday, March 07, 2004
A couple of revelations I've reached within the past 72 hours:
I like teaching, and more precisely the act of teaching. Standing up in front of classroom and performing, answering questions, cracking jokes. It's all fun. But I'm teaching a subject matter (math), that doesn't utilize my creative horizons.
The pros about teaching math -- you can get a job anywhere, relatively few papers to grade.
The cons about teaching math -- can't make it fun (at least, I don't know how to make it fun)
So why am I teaching math? Well, business economics is very math-oriented and I felt that this was the proper subject matter to teach with my educational background. However, business economics is considered a social science and along with my Asian-American studies minor...I'm thinking I should teach somewhere in the social science field where I would have more of a creative impact within my classroom.
Been on a record buying rampage as of late with my latest purchase being Pete Rock -- Soul Survivor. Again, I've probably downloaded every track off this album, but I felt it was necessary to have the actual CD as part of my collection. This is truly an incredible record with beats which I can only be described as luscious. The staple Soul Brother #1 horn samples invites you to raise your fist. While's Pete's lyrical prowess is less than noteworthy, guest MC's ranging from Kurupt to Raekwon to Big Pun to Peter Gunz (yes, Peter Gunz of Shaq's defunct T.W.I.S.M. label) keep things more than lively.
My fear of commitment has plenty to do with my mom. She's a real negative person, doesn't like to speak, and above all, pulls my father along her neurotic line of, well,...@!@$$#%#$^@#$%#! It's downright frightening to see my father anxiously succumb to each and every single one of her demands but then transform into this cool prime (like Optimus) when she's not around. I just don't want a female to have this type of impact on my constant struggle for peace of mind.
And that's all the revelations for now.
andycat stayed in the red at 10:02 PM
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Alrite, since the people are demanding andycat. I'll supply it. So...the first thing in my head automatically jumps out my fingers:
Got a 15 year old girl crying to me after class talkin bout how the others girls bully her and how she just wants to learn but can't with the hostility. Which means, Mr. Doan has to regulate. Kinda got me jaded. Trying to balance this fine line of being fair yet fun in my classroom.
Hockey is a vey primordial game in a postmodern world. I mean, think about it. In addition to carrying a piece of wood in your hands, you're playing the game on a pair of ice skates. And it's the only sport besides boxing that has boxing in it. I'm not sure what the neutral zone is, but the concept of a two-minute penalty for committing an act of deviance is just chaotically absurd.
Diggin this new Visionaries, Pangaea. It took a couple of spins, but I'm feelin LMNO's over-enunciated flow. It's bad. (Bad as in good, not bad as in bad.)
Can't really explain this 'feenin for a girlfriend' vibe I've been getting as of late. Maybe I'm letting my guard down. Could it be?
Why is it so easy to clown on Soul Brother #2/ a.per.wep./ ronnoc1/ Connor? I wonder if having six different aliases has anything to do with it.
Good idea to wash your sheets frequently. Sleeping on soiled sheets is filthy. Anything described as 'soiled' makes me wanna just hop in the shower and get my scrub down on with some coral.
I've been trying to validate anything and everything as of late. My education. This whole teaching thing. My morals. My existence. Haven't really come up with any answers either.
Eat more spinach.
andycat stayed in the red at 11:18 PM
Monday, March 01, 2004
ANDYDOAN1: does this have to do with beating off?
BurntPancakes: haha
BurntPancakes: nah
BurntPancakes: just changed subjects
BurntPancakes: you want to talk about beating off tho
ANDYDOAN1: that wasn't a good transition
BurntPancakes: beat off to comp porn
ANDYDOAN1: www.mearone.com
BurntPancakes: and keep the movie window really small, but have a black desktop
BurntPancakes: so that you can watch yourself beat off
I'm not sure what to do with this information. I'm scared, mad, and happy...all at the same time.
andycat stayed in the red at 3:56 PM
ESPN
Cicely
Daily Nexus
Sneak Move
Dodger Blues
LA Times
Food Network
Growth
AIM: ANDYDOAN1
E-Mail: adoan1@hotmail.com
Decay
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