Brown Skin Lady

Brown Skin Lady.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I need to work on my flirting.

But I guess the underlying key to flirting is confidence.

So maybe I need to work on my confidence and stop all the scowling.

Bleh.

andycat stayed in the red at 9:03 PM

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

My right shoulder dislocated three weeks ago and the pain is still rather intense.

I sometimes wonder if more creaky body parts are in order as I age gracefully.

Masking anger and indignity under various circumstances has taken years of practice, however, hiding physical pain is virtually impossible.

When a female breaks my heart, I laugh.

When a slide into second breaks my shoulder, I grimace.

I asked the school counselor on a date via email.

My MRI was burned onto a compact disc for a second opinion.

Technology frightens me.

andycat stayed in the red at 7:50 PM

Monday, November 27, 2006

I have three types of friends who all have distinctly different objectives when joining me for adult beverages at the local bar scene.

The girl obsessed:

This is the creepy friend whose only mission at the bar is to leer at pretty women. Friendly banter with the fellas is okay while watching the game but completely unacceptable at the bar.

You know, the one who says, Andy, we need chicks!
Fool, I caught her peepin!
He also gives advice like, "The best way to start is to make eye contact and see if you can elicit a smile."

This friend reads askmen.com waaaay too much at the office.
The Music Snob:
This is the friend who is so fucking elitist in his non-appreciation for pop music that he cannot possibly discover any sort of pleasure at the bar if the lyrics blasting through the speakers contains the voice of some high pitched former mouseketeer.

Sounds familiar, eh? (Go BC lions!)
The Pool/Dart Player:
After talking shit to the fellas gets too repetitive, this particular friend will become the most intoxicated and must find some novel activity to quell his competitive ego. Shooting pool, playing darts, even shuffleboard are all fine examples. Dancing with a pretty girl is not.

This friend is also known to smoke a lot of cigarettes.

You fit in with one of the above three.

I will not argue this.

andycat stayed in the red at 10:37 PM

Thursday, November 23, 2006

acat. ready. work it out. Giving love, respect, and THANKS! to the architects of my life.

To Trader Joes Mountain Spring Water, $.49 for a 1.5 liters, and 8 glasses a day. Because that's what they say.

To Dr. K, for prescribing what seems to be an unyielding supply of Vitamin V.

To IVTV, for wildly entertaining the senior class of '07 at Annenberg High.

To Penguins and Ducks, two of nature's least feared winged creatures.

To Vancouver, B.C. -- for providing me a place to wreck havoc for the next few days.

To Pete's Cafe on 4th and main in downtown, for providing adult beverages to weary teachers.

To the Puma Military Cap, for providing stylish head gear while my hair grows back in that weird tweener stage.

To Connor, for parting his hair to one side.

To Max, for cutting his own hair.

To JW and DW, rocking the jew-fros like no other.

To Carlos, for growing out his hair.

To Pat, for wielding his influence upon the youth with his Indie Rockstar hair.

To Daven, because metro hair is in.

And finally, to all the around the ways girls (J, V, A, P, and C) -- you all truly humor me.

Gobble Gobble!

andycat stayed in the red at 10:25 AM

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Bill Simmons will sometimes appear on Adam Carolla's morning show here in LA and both will review movies that are old. A few months ago, they discussed ConAir. I mean, why review the upcoming attractions when you deconstruct a topic using hindsight.

I find this to be dangerously ingenious.

So when heads clown after I profess my revelation of a certain Todd "Ladies Love Cool J/ Get eaten by a shark at the end of deep blue sea" Smith, I have to bring up the Mama Said Knock You Out record.

And since I was the only one who purchased the record in 7th grade, I think I may have made about 38 dubs of the tape off my Kenwood Deck with LL rhyming about C-O-O-L-I-N-F-R-O-N-T-I-N in Alvin the Chipmunk's voice.

Marley Marl on the production tip and was on point throughtout the whole record.

Boomin System.
Around the way girl.
Mama Said.
Jingling Baby Remix.
6 Minutes of Pleasures.

You listen to Mama Said Knock You Out!

(I'll go warm it up with Kane.)

andycat stayed in the red at 9:00 PM

Monday, November 13, 2006

doanmath.com

Has a catchy dual-syllabic ring to it.

andycat stayed in the red at 5:22 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Press Release:

Medical experts at Kerlan-Jobe have gained an international reputation as pioneers in the field of sports medicine...Dr. Shields brings over two decades of distinguished excellence in sports medicine, including private practice and serving as medical consultants to the L.A. Dodgers, L.A. Kings, L.A. Lakers, and the St. Louis Rams.

Dude is also the doctor who i have an appointement with today.

I need questions.

So...er, ummm...doc?

What's Lamar really like?

Does Greg Maddux really think that chicks dig the long ball?

Why is Torry Holt so awesome?

Refill on Vicodin?

Please?

Do you also think that there is one too many vowels in the word Orthopaedic?

Disclaimer: This post about Vicodin was written while on Vicodin.

andycat stayed in the red at 6:07 AM

Monday, November 06, 2006

You know...it's might be just a bit of a challenge pouring drinks this weekend with a DISLOCATED SHOULDER.

Slid into second.
Heard something pop.
Ambulance called.
Vicodin prescribed.
Orthopedic Surgeon to be seen.

"What do you predict for this fight?"

Pain. --Clubber Lang, Rocky 3.

andycat stayed in the red at 8:32 PM

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Somtime back in February of this year, the bass master and myself met up with the DJ in downtown Los Angeles to see our beloved Lakers play host to the Hawks of Atlanta.

And while witnessing second year sensation Josh Smith torching the nets of Staples Center with a line like 46/32/18...the best part of witnessing this game live (section 114, row 2, directly behind the basket) was the enthusiasm, energy, and whipping braids of Rony Turiaf -- the lakers rookie PF from Gonzaga fresh off open heart surgery.

You just knew that the kid had some pizazz to him after he was the first off the bench to congratulate his teammates during a timeout. You also knew he had more flava then Madsen because his dances after all of Kobe's threes didn't make you cringe.

And he has single handedly won the past two games of this early Laker season; coming up with big defensive stops, hustle in the paint, and balls out energy.

We are still on pace for the coveted 82-win season.

andycat stayed in the red at 4:59 PM